Broken Hearts
by MoistWetDamp
Summary: Mal, Wes and Del are homeless orphans living on the streets of London, stealing so they can barely survive. When they fix up an old abandoned car they're led to a mysterious car park where a dark figure is waiting to take them to Hogwarts... please read and review!
1. Out of the dump!

**Hello! This is my new story, broken hearts. Its about three homeless orphans who are rescued and taken to Hogwarts and about their adventures there :D**

 **Please review**

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Mal, Delaphenia (Del for short) and Wes were orphans.

They lived on the streets of London and stole to make a living. It was winter and was really cold at night.

"Darn." Said Mal, warming his hands by the trashcan that had a fire in it. "It's so cold today."

"Its cold everynight." Said Wes, trying to warm up their hands by the fire. It wasn't working because it was so cold.

"Guys guys! you will never guess what happened!" Delaphenia exclaimed as she barged into the shelter they had made from garbage.

"Hey Del. Did you steal any food?" Mal looked up excirted. However he still looked sad because he was homeless and an orphan and was very cold on the icy winter night.

"No!" Delaphenia yells. "Even better!"

She lifted up a log of metal.

"A crowbar!"

Wes gasped. "We can use it to open that old car in the corner of the dump!"

Mal smiled really big. "We might be able to use it as a bedroom!"

Wed smiled even bigger and said. "Remember im a genius mechanic? We might be able to get it to work and then we'd have a car!"

Wes jumped up from where they sat in front of the flaming trashcan and they all started running to the abandoned car.

They arrived twenty minutes later (they are not fast at running) an Del smached the car window with her crowbar.

"Del what the fuck?!" Mal yelled, putting on a red hat. "We need to see if we can fix it, not break it!"

Del looked angry and held the crowbar up on her shoulder. "Well excuse you how else were we going to get into it?"

Wes patted Mal on the shoulder in a calming way. "I really need the bathroom so we'd better make this quick."

As if like magic, Wes fixed the car (including the window) and then climbed out from under the car covered in oil stains and holding a wrench and a hammer.

"I think that ought to do it." Said Wes, wiping sweat from their forehead with the back of their hand. "That really put me in the mood for some pickled onions."

Wes went to the rusty (turned off) fridge nearby where they kept the food they stole and retrieved a jar of pickled onions. Mal put on his investigation hat (a purple top hat) and opened the car door. He got into the drivers seat and found an old sat nav.

"Wow! This is so old it looks like its from like, 1940!"

They all got into the car. And turned the sat nav on.

"Wow!" Exlaimed Mal, putting on his excited hat (he cant help it he has ocd and has to change his hats to suit his mood. "There's already a destination set in there?"

Del held the crowbar up, waiting for her siblings to discard the sat nav so she could bash it.

"We should go there!" Wes suggested sitting in the drivers seat. "We have enough power in the car to get us there by the looks of it!"

Wes flipped the car switch and it rumbled.

"Are you sure this is safe?" Mal said worriedly, switching to a blue straw hat. Del was sitting in the backseat and was holding the crowbar lovingly.

"It'll be fine." Wes assured the others unconvincingly

Wes put a foot on the pedal and the car began to move. "Eureka!" They all cheered.

They drove out of the dump.

"Wait!" Wes shouted as they passed the rusty fridge and stopped the car really hard and Mal and Del fell off their seats because they werent wearing seatbelts. "We forgot something!"

"What?" The other two asked.

"Someone grab the snacks from the fridge, we don't know how long this trip is going to be and we had better be prepared."

Del got out and started hitting garbage piles with her crowbar as she walked over to the fridge, and got out a jar of pickeld onions, pickled red cabbage, gercins, pickled eggs, and pickled

"Wes what the hell?" Del said angrily, trying to carry all the jars to the car but accidentally dropped them all apart from the pickled onions because she was holding a crowbar

Wes started to weep for the loss but knew that they all were going to have to make sacrifices on the journey they had ahead of them... they just wish it hadn't come so suddenly... so soon.

Del went back to the fridge and got two cans of beans and a Bowl of Milk (they had run out of jugs) "Look how much we have!" Del exclaimed, putting the food into the boot (shoutout to booty ;) ) of the car.

Mal became worried at those words and said. "Are you sure this is a good idea Wes? I don't know if I want to do this."

"Itll be fine." Wes assured, turning on the car again. "Weve all had to make sacrifices." Wes thought forlornly about the broken jars of pickles on the ground. "We've all suffered."

When the car was loaded they started driving where the sat nav told them to, and they followed it down the road around a corner and into a car park.

They all got out and looked around. The air felt weird and all their hairs stood up.

There was a sounds from the shadows and Del Mal and Wes all looked... except it was moving?!

"That shadow is moving!" Mal exlaimed

Del lifted up the crowbar to throw it at the moving shadow, but before she could, the shadow spoke to them.

"I am not a shadow you blithering idiots. I have been sent here to personally escort you to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizary."

"Wh-wh-w-who are you?" Wes stutterd

"I am professor snape." Professor Snape said.

"We're wizards?!" They all yelled in shocked unision

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 **Thank you to everyone who reads my stories :)**

 **Please review what you liked and what you think should happen next!**


	2. Attack of the Zoctors

Mal, Wes and Del all looked at each other in confused. Del was holding her crowbar at the menacing figure of Professor Snape.

"Don't you come near us!" Mal exclaimed.

Professor Snape approached.

"What did I just say?!" Mal yelled.

"I am here to take you to Hogwarts." Snape said snidely, crossing his arms as he waved his wand at the car. "There, now you have a full tank of gas, no need to thank me."

"Wait." Wes calmed the other two as they took a bite into a juicy nectarine, "Lets hear him out. He could be onto something here."

Professor Snape nodded. "I am taking you to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizadry."

Mal narrowed his eye and squinted. "How do we know you're not lying?"

Mal walked over to Snape suspiciously and inspected the three letters the man was holding... One adressed to Wes, one to Del and one to... _himself?!_

Mal gasped as he looked at the letters which were still folded up in Snape's hand.

"It looks pretty legit guys." Mal said.

"Maybe we should... open the letters." Del wiggled her eyebrows suggestively as she stroked her crowbar even more suggestively.

"Don't worry Del." Wes said. "I trust Mals intuition. Its never led us astray before."

"What about that time when he was the reason we all became homeless?" Del asked.

"Geez Del let it go already." Mal rolled his eyes. "I already apologized like, a bazillion times."

Professor Snape looked at them all. "We should all get into the car."

They all got into the car. Wes was in the drivers seat, and Snape, Mal and Del all sat in the back.

"You could sit in the front seat." Wes suggested, looking at the empty seat beside them and then at the three people crammed into the back.

"Nonsense." Said Snape who was squashed in the middle. "It's important we get to know each other and since most are in the back that would be a more practical place to sit."

"Im not sure how pracitcal you think it is-" Said Mal who had Snapes elbow digging into his side and was squished against the window, "But I don't think it's as practical as it actually is."

Del would have said something sarcastic and threatened to hit him with her crowbar but she was so squashed that she couldnt breathe and passed out.

"Oh shit!" Wes said. "We'd better get her to the hospital!"

They drove the car to the nearest hospital, the sat nav knew exactly where they wanted to go and led them there like an electronic breadcrumb trail, except there were no breadcrumbs so it was more like an electronic map.

The ride there was slow because they didn't want to crash. Del remained passed out because she was squeezed against the window.

When they got to the hospital Mal and Wes were pacing around outside the hospital room until they were allowed in.

"Hey guys." Said Del weakly when they came in.

She had an IV drip in her arm and looked pale and tired.

"Next time you are so sitting in the passenger seat." Mal said to Snape as he shook his head disapprovingly.

"My bad." Snape apologized as he gave Del a bunch of flowers. "These are magical flowers, they will help you regain your strength."

"I feel better already!" Del said looking less pale and pulling the IV out of her arm, "We'd better break out since we don't have insurance."

"I've got you covered." Wes winked. "I have a plan to sneak you out."

Ten minutes later Snape, Wes and Mal were standing by Del's window with a stretched out sheet.

"Now just jump! Don't be afraid!" Snape reassured her.

Del climbed out of the window and put her feet on the ground."My room is on the ground floor remember?"

"Haha oh yeah." Said Snape shyly as Wes and Mal shrugged

Suddenly, alarms went off in the hospital.

"Oh shit!" The all swore in unison as they all began to sprint away from the window. "Cheese it!" They all shouted.

Hoards of doctors began to pour from the hospital, emerging from all exits in a large mob. They brandished needles and enemas at the fleeing foursome. They were gaining on them.

Mal tripped and twisted his ankle and fell to the ground.

"Go on without me!" He shouted. The raving doctors were almost upon him, practically frothing at the mouth. He closed his eyes as a single tear rolled down his cheek. After all they'd been through... was this the end?

Suddenly, Del and Wes each grabbed one of his arms and hooked it over their shoulders. The doctors were almost there, hissing and spitting, only metres away. Their hearts pounded in their chest and Snape ran from them towards the car park.

"He's leaving us behind!" Mal said furiously. "How dare he!"

"Didn't you just tell us to leave you behind?" Del said, fending off the nearest doctors with her crowbar.

"Yes but I didn't _mean_ it." Mal rolled his eyes.

"How about we save the conversations for when we aren't surrounded by a pack of bloodthirsty doctors?" Wes suggested.

Suddenly in the distance there was a honk.

It was Snape returning with the car!

"Get in!" He shouted from the drivers seat.

The three piled into the car and they locked the doors so that the zoctors couldn't get in. Once they saw their prey was beyond their reach, the doctors returned to the hospital all dejected to treat their patients.

"Phew! That was a close one am I right?" Mal laughed.

"You can say that again!" Wes laughed.

So Mal did.

"Phew! That was a close one am I right?"

"Yeah." Said Del.

Snape was driving the car down the road through London and Wes and Mal and Del were all in the backseat. But it was okay this time because Snape was too big and there wasn't room but it was fine now.

"It's getting late." Snape suggested.

They pulled into a run down car park of a shabby looking motel. There were lights on in some of the rooms and the front looked a bit dirty. Snape parked the car and everyone went into the motel.

"Hello." Said Mal to the person at the desk.

"We would like to have a room for the night." Snape told the receptionist.

"Okay." She said as she handed them a room key to room 68. "Your room is room 68 but unfortunately it only has one bed though."

"That's okay." Del said, clenching her crowbar which still had zoctor blood on it. "Snape can sleep in the car. But we have to keep the keys and lock him in because I don't trust him not to steal our car."

"Okay." Said Snape. He handed the receptionist a wad of cash.

"There is a couch he could sleep on." The receptionist suggested concerndely.

"Sleeping in a room with a _guy?_ " Mal looked unhappy. "Urm, no thanks thats really gay."

Snape nodded and went to the car while Del locked him in.

"We'll be here in the morning to start Driving to Hogwarts." Del said to him.

"Okay. Can you please leave the window open a bit so I dont get too hot."

"No." Said Wes.

The three of them went to room 68 and Del laughed at the room number next door.

"Haha that room number says 67."

Then they unlocked the door to their motel room and all collapsed onto the bed. They huddled up together reminding them of the days when they had to huddle for warmth in the dump where they lived.

"Things are going to be changing." Said Mal philosophically.

"Shut up." Said Wes.

Del was already asleep, clutching her crowbar lovingly.

"Do you think we can trust snape?" Said Mal.

"I said shut up Mal I'm trying to sleep."

"It's kind of important though like what if he's going to kidnap us?"

"Shut up."

They all fell asleep.

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 **please review and subsscribe? :) - xoxox Wet**


	3. Ding Dong Dance off!

"Ugh." Snape said. "I'm so tired."

The three triplets looked at each other. They were bored beyond belief and wanted to go out to a night club. But of course, there was no way Snape would let them. They were on a tight schedule after all. If they wanted to reach Hogwarts before September they had to stick to the schedule.

But what could one night hurt?

They waited for Professor Snape to go to bed and then all of them got up and put on ripped black skinny jeans, black tshirts and then put on makeup and painted their nails black. The sneaked past the car in the parking lot that snape was sleeping in and snuck down the road all the way to the nearest night club.

Wes and Del were about to go to the back of the line but Mal stopped them and smirked knowingly.

"Where do you think you're going?" He asked rhetorically.

"To the back of the line?" The other two answered.

"Pssh," Mal waved his hand, "Lines are for losers. We can just go straight in. I know a guy." He winked.

They all walked up to the front and Mal looked at the muscular man at the front and winked flirtily, "Hey sexy, I'm one of Steve's friends."

The muscular handsome nightclub guard was staring at Mal's ass under his impossibly tight pants.

"Hey," Mal winked, twirling a lock of purple hair between his fingers, "My eyes are up here sexy."

"You can go in." The bouncers jaw dropped and his eyes were bulging with arousal as he stared at Mals body.

"Thanks sexy." Mal winked as he, Wes and Del walked into the club together.

The club was dark and full of colorful and flashing strobe lights. There was a smoke machine and the triplets all strutted out onto the dancefloor. Del began to slowdance with her crowbar, while Mal and Wes went up to the bar to order drinks.

"What should we get?" Wes asked.

Mal looked at the menu and called over the bartender and suddenly noticed that he was the bouncer who had let them in.

"Hey sexy I didn't realize you worked the bar as well." Mal leaned over the counter seductively.

The bouncer/bartender blushed and asked Mal what he'd like to drink.

"I'd love to drink you up."Mal winked and Wed mimed retching behind him.

"A glass of tequila please." Wes said and handed the bartender the money.

Wes got their drink and chugged it all.

Mal asked for a shot of vodka and the bartneder handed it to him and their fingers brushed. They felt an electrical connection.

"It's on the house." The bartender said as he blushed, rubbing his muscular arm shyly.

Mal blushed at the guesture and sipped his shot slowly.

Wes went onto the dancefloor and started breakdancing and a crowd formed around them as they watched their great dancing skills.

Del began to furiously slow dance with the crowbar.

The crowd got bigger and everyone was cheering at Wes and Del.

Mal saw the commotion and climbed up onto the bar counter and ripped off his shirt to draw attention to his muscular body. Now everyone in the nightclub stopped to stare at Mal, Wes and Del as they all tried to out-dance each other.

The music got more intense and they danced faster and faster to match the beat. Wes did a spin on their head and Mal ripped his jeans off and the bartender was drooling into big puddles .

Del french dipped the crowbar and the crowd went WILD.

The song finished and the triplets all did a finishing pose. The crowd applauded and threw roses and stuff. They each bowed and the night club owner took a microphone.

"Well that was quite the performance! And the winner is..." There was a drumroll. "ALL OF YOU IT'S A TIE!"

Mal, Wes and Del all hugged each other and began to cry because even though they competed against each other they knew that they could never be divided in their hearts.

"We should probably go home." Wes suggested.

"Yeah it's almost morning." Del agreed. She was nearly falling asleep.

Mal felt a sad feeling in his heart and tears began to form in his eyes.

"Okay guys... but I have one last thing I need to do."

Mal felt his confidence get higher, because he was going to be leaving, he didn't have time to be shy. He walked proudly over to the bar and threw himself over the counter into the arms of the bartender/bouncer and kissed him.

Everyone gasped and began to clap and cry in joy of their love.

"I'll never forget you Mal!" The bartender cried as he kissed Mal.

"I'm going to miss you." Mal sobbed and they hugged.

"Why don't you guys just give each other your skype and phone numbers?" Del suggested.

"Oh ya." Mal giggled and kissed the bartender with more happiness this time and less sadness from leaving. "Here's my number."

Mal gave the bartender one last kiss and winked. "Call me sexy!"

The three left the club and all of the people in the bar sighed sadly now that they had left to continue on their long journey.

They got back to the motel and passed the car that Snape was locked in. Mal went to go collect all of their possessions while Del unlocked the car and shook Snape awake.

"Get up." She said. "You have to drive today because we're all hung over."

"Oh okay." Snape said as he woke up and got into the drivers seat and Wes passed him the keys to turn on the engine.

Mal got back and got into the back with Del.

"Umm." Snape said looking in the mirror at Mal. "why are you only wearing underpants?"

"Oh Snape." The triplets laughed. "Classic Severus."

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 **thank you for reading please review :)**

 **-mmmwet**


	4. Love is in the stars?

"Hey guys" whispered Mal. "Wanna sneak out again?" Del rubbed her eyes, they had all been asleep in the back seat of the car.  
"Mal, go to sleep!" yelled Wes, they were curled up on the floor like a dogg. Snape was in the front seat cuz he had been driving. He had parked in the middle of a desert. The shining lights of a diner were blaring into the car, preventing Mal from going to sleep.

"But I cant" complained Mal "the lights are to bright."  
"MAL GO TO SLEEP!" Del whacked Mal on the head with her crowbar.  
"Urgh" said Mal, rubbing his head "I'm going for a walk." He opened up the car door and headed towards the diner.

Ding a ling. The bell rang as he entered the not so busy diner. The lights were glaring at him as he was getting used to the lights. The small sound of a radio was playing in the background. Mal waltzed up to the counter and sat down.  
"Hello, hun" said the woman "What can I get ye?" her accent was thick.  
"Just some pancakes and coffee please." Mal replied, adjusting his sherriff's hat.  
"Coming right up!" She dinged the bell and told the chef to make some pancakes. She then poured the coffee into a mug and handed it to him.  
"Thanks"

From the corner of his eye, Mal you see a man sitting in the booth behind him. He was wearing a balaclava over his mouth but Mal could see his eyes. They were bright yellow.  
"Anything else I can get ya dahlin?" asked the waitress, handing him a plate of pancakes. Mal looked up to answer but when he did, he saw horror in the waitresses eyes. Mal looked to where she was looking and saw a bright green light coming from outside. He then saw his own car levitating, getting closer and closer to the bright green light.  
"It's the aliens again!" Yelled the waitress. Mal looked in horror as he could see Snape, Del and Wes sleep peacefully in the car as it got taken by aliens.  
"We have to help them!" Mal screamed.  
"But how?" said the man in the booth. "All we have is this broom." Mal knew exactly what to do.

Wes and Del woke up strapped to seperate tables.  
"Urm, Wes?" Del said, trying to turn her head but she couldn't cuz it was strapped down. "Where are we?"  
"I don't know Del." Replied Wes, looking around and their surrondings. They were strapped to two white tables and in between them was another, smaller table, containing a knife and a sucky thing.  
"Don't panic, Del, but I think someone is gonna cut open our brains."  
But before Del could panic, a door opened and in came three green beings. The leader was wearing a white lab coat and nerd glasses. It was also holding a clipboard in its tentacled hands. The one on the right was wearing a football blazer and was carrying a football. He was clearly the jock of the group.

Wes almost missed the one on the left. He was standing to the side with his hands in his jean pockets. They were all bald with huge heads and none of them were wearing clothes.  
"Oh you're awake!" said the leader, its voice was husky. "That'll make the process so much easier"  
Del sneered at it. "Where is my crowbar, you godforsaken heathens?"  
"Your "crowbar" is fine" said the leader, quickly scribbling something in its clipboard.  
"Okay I will be back later to check up on you but I leave you with Lewis and Vangina." The leader left and the other two sat down in some chairs by a table. Lewis got out some cards and was playing some alien game. Van was sitting uncomfortably.  
"Hey, Van" whispered Del so only Van could hear "Come over here" she winked. The alien moved over slowly, his hands still in his pockets.  
"Hey" he said, his voice quiet and cute. Lewis was still distracted by his cards.  
"You're cute" said Del. The alien blushed a dark green.  
"Thank you" he said, shuffling on his feet. Del looked into his yellow eyes.  
"Could you let us out of here?" she asked politely.  
"Oh urm" Van looked towards Lewis, who was still super into his cards. "I can, maybe, do it." He whispered finally.

He took his hands out of his pockets and Del gasped at his long tentacly fingers.  
"Sorry, these are gross I know"  
"No it's okay" Del said, touching Van's tentacles once she was freed of her restraints. "I love all your imperfections." They both slowly looked into each others eyes and slowly kissed passionately.  
"Urm, guys" Wes said "I'm still trapped here!"  
"Oh of course im sorry" said Van and he freed Wes. "Come on, while Lewis is distracted"

They ran through corridors of screaming and saw noises. Shivers ran down Wes and Del's spines. They reached the exit to the ship and opened the door. A huge gust of wind hit them all in the face.  
"Oh yeah, we're in the sky." Said Van. "We only have a short while until we get into space!"  
"What?! How long?" asked Wes.  
"Not very, maybe a minute?"  
"Well how are we gonna get down?" Asked Del. Then, as if by magic, Mal appeared riding a broom and a big smile on his face.  
"Heard you guys needed help." He said. A wave of relief rushed over them all. "Hop on, quickly!" Wes hopped on behind Mal, but Del stayed behind.  
"Del! Come on!"  
"Wait a minute!" Dell screamed at them over the wind. She looked at Van and they joined hands. "I will always love you Vangina."  
"I will always love you too, Delaphenia" They joined lips passionately.

 **5 seconds left.**  
Del hopped onto the broom.  
 **4 seconds left.**  
"Del wait!" Van yelled quickly. He pulled out the crowbar.  
 **3 seconds left.**  
Van threw the crowbar at Del and she caught it.  
 **2 seconds left.**  
"I love you Del"  
 **1 second left.**  
"I love you too, Van!"  
 **Poof**! The spaceship was gone. The trio landed on the ground right outside their car.  
"Oh look! Snape is still asleep." Said Del, laughing. Mal yawned. Now he was sure he could sleep.

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 _ **A/N: Hey guys! Moist here! haha! this is a guest chapter written by me! :3 hope you enojoy it! :3**_


	5. Camp Tango, Part 1

Mal, Wes, Del and Snape were driving down an old country road, with cornfields as far as the eye could see. The old battered vechicle gave a lurch and a loud bang and suddenly stopped.

Snape said to them. "I've got this under control." And got out of the car and lifted the hood up to inspect the innards of the car. "Oh no." Snape grumbled. "It looks like the musketeer fusion belt has busted. It'll take me at least a week to get it fixed."

"A week?" The three of them exclaimed in unison.

"What are we going to do for food?" Mal yelled. "And more importantly, how are we going to bath and go to the bathroom?!" Mal got out of the car and said angrily. "Ugh Snape, you're so unreliable."

Wes glared at Snape and got out too. "Yeah, we cant trust you at all. Ever since you've joined us everything has been going wrong."

"I disagree." Says Del. "Mal literally caused us to become homeless, I don't think he can do worse than that. However I remaind loyal to my brethren so..." She got out of the car too.

"Sit tight kiddos Ive got this sitch under control." Snape snaps his fingers and a small fire starts on the engine."Okay this might take longer than I thought."

Mal rolled his eyes. "Lets go guys."

"Wait!" Snape said looking distressed. "Where are you going?"

"For a walk." Wes said and Del put her finger up at Snape.

"But!" Snape cried. "Its dangerous! People have been rumoured to go missing around these parts at night!"

"Whatever." Del grumbled and the three of them departed into the corn fields, leaving Snape behind on the road.

They walked around for a few hours and it was starting to get dark in the sky above them. They were tired and their feet hurt. Not to mention hungry and filthy from when they stopped to have a mudfight.

"Maybe we should head back." Mal said nervously. "Its starting to get dark."

"You might be right." Wes said, shaking with fear. "But I dont remember the way back."

"Oh that's not good." Mal said thoughfully.

Del was staring up at the stars. "Its okay guys, my alien boyfriend taught me how to read the stars like a map, it shouldn't be long before we get back to the car."

Mal and Wes stared at Del.

"When did he teach you that?" Mal asked

"We communicate telepathically." Del explaied.

"Ooooh." Mal and Wes said in unison.

Del lead them through the cornfields and it was completely dark now, lit only by the light of the moon above them.

With each step Del seemed to be getting more and more unsure.

"The stars arent right..." She muttered. "If I didn't know any better... Id say they were... _moving!"_

Mal and Wes gasped.

"But, does that mean we're lost?!" Mal explained.

"Yes." Del sighed unhappily. "And theres another poissibility."

"What is it?" Wes asked.

"I think someone is playing tricks on us." She said angrily. "but to do something as elaborate as moving the stars to trick us? they must be an institutional mastermind."

Something rustled in the corn stalks nearby and Wes screamed and sprinted away.

"Wait! We have to stay together Wes!" Del shouted but it was too late, they were already gone. "Mal we have to stick toge-"

Mal had already run away and Del rolled her eyes.

The three of them ran as far as they could from the rustling and eventually all of them came out at the same clearing in the cornfield.

"Is this a crop circle?" Wes asked.

"I don't think so." Del said. "It looks too mathmatical."

There was a rustle from beyond the clearing and a cackling laughter.

"Right you are, young Delaphenia."

"How do you know my name?" Del glared as the tall figure emerged into the clearing.

It was a handsome man wearing a green millitary suit. He had slicked back brown hair and dark blue eyes.

"My name is General Tango, and I think I know just the place for you three." He smiled evilly.

"We're our you taking us?" Wes questioned, looking up and down at General Tango's body.

"To a millitary operations camp that we use to train up young'uns like you lot."

"How long will we be there?" Mal asked checking his calendar. "We have a schedule to stick to and Im not sure we can afford to make another detour like this."

General Tango shrugged and then put handcuffs on them.

"Ooh kinky." Del said as he put the cuffs on her.

General Tango then led them through the cornfield and eventually they reached the edge of the field and then they were at the entrance to a forest. Mal shivered and the general took them deep into the forest. Eventually they saw a wall made out of logs, like a summer camp. Inside there were some log cabins.

The enterance was locked with a padlock but General Tango let them through and locked the door behind them.

"This is we're you'll be training for the next five years to serve as disposable cia agents." General Tango explained as he led us to a dirty log cabin.

Mal pulled out his calender again and frowned. "Yeah that's not going to work for us."

"Mal this isn't optional we're being kidnapped." Del said.

General Tango removed our handcuffs and pointed at a large building nearby. "Thats the cafeteria. You can come and eat when you've settled in."

Wes opened the door first and made a digusted noise. "Ugh there's mould in here. I call top bunk!"

Wes dashed over to the bunk beds and tried to climb up but they were not strong and could not climb up so they dropped to the floor in a panting heap.

Del and Mal laughed and then tried to climb into the top bunk but they also became out of breath and fell down on top of Wes.

"Wow maybe this army camp will do us some good." Mal suggested.

Del looked around. There were two bunk beds.

Did that mean they had a fourth roomate?

Then she looked at the bed and sure enough there was a teenage boy laying on the bottom bunk of one of the bunk beds.

"Hey." Del said as she got up. "What are you reading?"

The boy glared at her. "Just leave me alone."

Wes looked over too and said. "Whats your name?"

The boy grumbled and looked angry

Mal asked. "Whats your name."

"Malcom."

"Hey Malcom." They all said. "We're Mal Wes and Del."

"I need to use the can." Wes said and walked into the bathroom.

Mal watched Wes suspiciously and after a few minutes Mal and Del busted down the door.

Malcom gasped and Mal and Del stared at Wes as they brushed their teeth.

"What?" Wes said confused.

"Oh nothing." Mal said.

Malcom rolled his eyes. "Great, now the toilet door is broken."

The four of them went over to the cafeteria for dinner and when they walked in it was like a zoo. People were shouting and eating strange grey slop.

"Ew gross, what are they eating?" Del asked.

"It's unidentified mass night," Malcom explained. "Oh boy, its my favourite."

Mal winked at them and said. "Don't worry, I'll get us some _real_ food. I know a guy."

The four of them lined up with their trays, Malcom eagerly anticipating his unidentified mass.

When they got to the food lady Mal leaned over the counter with a smug face and said. "Hey Im a friend of Steves. You think we could get some real food?"

The lady suddenly looked terrified and muttered to her friend. "Go out the back and get the good stuff, he's a friend of Steves."

The other lady also looked terrified and scurried into the corner to get the food for them.

Malcom looked confused when solid food went onto his tray but he shrugged and walked to a table to eat it anyway.

The three of them ate and then they went back to their log cabin.

They all got into their beds and slept with their hands under their cheeks like in the praying hands.

In the morning General Tango walked into their log cabin and screamed at them to wake up.

"ALL OF YOU COCKROACHES GET YOURSELF DOWN TO THE TRAINING FIELD. IF YOU WANT BREAKFAST THEN YOU BETTER FINISH YOUR EXERCISES."

Del Mal and Malcom shot out of the door instantly but Wes got up slowly and strutted over to General Tango.

"Hey." Wes winked.

"Why is the toilet door broken?" General Tango asked and Wes laughed.

"Haha. Dont worry about that. So tell me about yourself." Wes fluttered their eyelashes and General Tango blushed.

"Uhm, like what?" He said shyly.

"How did you get into this line of work?" Wes said slowly and deliberatly as they grinned menacingly.

General Tango felt threatened and began to sutter.

"I think. " Wes continued. "You look much better on stage."

General Tango froze. "How did you know about that."

"I know lots of things General Tango," Wes winked. "Or should I say... Sensei Dorito?"

General Tango glared. "If you tell anybody-"

Wes cut him off with a chuckle. "Oh, Tango, m'boy, I have no interest in telling anybody."

General Tango looked at them with narrow eyes. "What do you want?"

"Just your body."

"What?"

"Lets dance."

"You know salsa dance?" General Tango looked at Wes suspiciously.

Wes laughed and said "Señorita." in a way that implied they were saying "duh."

Wes strutted over to General Tango whispered. "Lets dance." seductively.

* * *

Del Mal and Malcom arrived at the training fields and they began to run around it and they were sweating and crying.

"Hey where is Wes?" Del asked.

"I don't know." Malcom said.

Mal laughed and said. "Haha, they must be running so fast that nobody can see them."

"Oh yeah I forgot Wes could do that." Del laughed.

* * *

Wes danced sensually with General Tango and eventually they knew they had to part.

"Can I kiss you?" General Tango asked shyly.

Wes shrugged. "Sure whatever."

Then they made out passionately.

* * *

 **please review :)**

 **xoxo- wet**


	6. Camp Tango, Part 2

Mal, Wes and Del woke up in their bunks on the second day of training camp with cramps and unknown bruise.  
"Oh boy" Mal said, sitting up and rubbing his hand on the back of his neck "My neck is so painful."  
Del responded with an agonising moan. Mal looked down from the bunk into Wes' but they were'nt there.  
"Hey, Del." Mal asked "Where's Wes? Did they come back last night?"  
Before Del could open her mouth, the door to their cabin opened wide and in came Wes.  
"Good morning, guys!" they yelled loudly.  
"Where the f have you been, Wes?" Shrieked Del. Wes looked flustered at the question.  
"Urm…" They said. But before they could come up with an excuse, Malcom arose from his bed screaming.

"Wow! Malcom, you good?" Asked Del, looking down from her bunk. Malcom was drenched and dripping with sweet.  
"Sorry I have night terrors sometimes." He apollogised.  
"That's fine, we all have a secret that we don't want anyone to find out." Wes said, thinking back to their night of dance with General Tango.

"WAKE UP, YOU PESKY WOMBATS!" came the booming voice of General Tango as he came barging into the room.  
"Hey there" Wes winked, making Tango blush bright red. Mal Del and Malcom looked at each other curiously.  
"TIME TO TRAIN, MAGGOTS!" Stuttered Tango.

Mal Wes Del and Malcom trained for 2 days, their strength going up and up, their endurance and muscles growing. Soon enough they were outrunning General Tango and all the other students.

One day, however, Mal suddenly woke up in a dark room. He looked around but it was so dark he couldn't see. "Urgh someone needs to put a lightbulb in this room." He had an itch so he reached down to stratch his leg but he couldn't move his arms down. He was chained to the ceiling. "Ooh, kinky" said Mal out loud.  
Suddenly a bright light appeared in front of him, he squinted a little to get used to it. "Ah! You're avake!" Said a German voice. The accent was thick.  
"Who goes there!" shouted Mal, fear slowly building up in him. His eyes got used to the dark and saw a figure in the doorway of light. They were wearing a black hoodie and all he could see was a wide smile, bearing teeth.  
"None of your buzinezz young man" said the German. Their voice was sultry and agonising. Fear welled up inside Mal.  
"G-G-G-Get back, please!"  
"Hahahahaa" laughed the German, it was piercing and gruesome.  
"What do you want from me?!" screamed Mal. The German came closer to Mal, so close, their noses were almost touching. There was something strangely alluring about that. Their breath smelled like vinegar and blood. Odd combination.  
"You know exactly vhat I vant." They whispered. Mal still couldn't make out any defining characteristics in this human. Except for the wide, nerve-wracking smile.  
"Not really, no"  
"I VANT ALL THE SECRETS, YOU MORON!" the German slapped Mal across the face, their nails scratching his face.  
"Ouch!" yelped Mal. "I don't have any secrets!" The German stood back, crossed their arms and said:  
"Well, in that case, we're going to have to torture it out of you."

* * *

"WES! DEL!" Yelled General Tango barging into the log cabin.  
"What is it now, Tango?" moaned Wes, "Is your bath water too cold?"  
Wes and Del had been playing cards in Malcom's bunk and Malcom was reading a book in Del's bunk.  
"No I've already bathed Wes." Complained Tango. "It's Mal! He's gone missing!"  
"WHAT?!" said Del and Wes. "Why DIDN'T YOU TELL US BEFORE!"  
"I only just found out."  
"WELL THAT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH!" Del jumped up and slapped Tango and ran out the door.  
"Do you know where he is?" asked Wes approaching Tango with a sultry look in their eyes.  
"We used his tracking chip and found him in Germany" said Tango, ignoring the winks that Wes was giving him. "We have a helicopter ready" He turned around and headed out the door. Wes rolled their eyes and followed him out, keeping their eyes on Tango's sweet buttocks.

The helicopter was fairly small. Only Wes, Del and Tango could fit in (including a seat for Mal of course).  
"Mind the blades!" Tango chouted as they ducked under the flailing blades of the helicopter. They each took their seats and put on the headphones they have to wear so they can hear each other talk cuz it's very loud in a helicopter.  
"Do you have any in blue?" asked Del.  
"No"

Soon enough they were in the air, flying over the camp and across the ocean all the way to Germany. Wes and Del slept through most of the journey, their heads together, using each other as a pillow, Del cuddling her crowbar.  
After a few hours, Tango jogged Del and Wes awake, Del instinctively smacked Tango in the face with her crowbar.  
"Oops, sorry" Del said, casually getting out of the landed aircraft. Wes followed suit and slapped Tango on the booty and winked at him.  
"So where we headed, boss?" asked Del.  
"Follow me"  
They did. Tango led them through a wartorn town. Debris from houses and cars and other unidentifiable objects were scattered all over the broken streets. Wes and Del kept tripping over holes in the road and sidewalk. After 15 minutes of walking, Tango put his finger over his lips and crouched down underneath a house. Both Wes and Del copied him and crouched down next to him. He handed each of them a gun. "For defence" he mouthed to them. He indicated for them to follow him and they went round a corner.  
"So are you going to tell me any of the secrets now?" came a voice from inside the house. The accent was German.  
"I don't know anything! Please stop!" Mal's voice. Wes and Del's hearts leapt in their chests. They both leaped forward but Tango held them back.  
He gave them a look that said "just wait". Wes looked back that said "but he's in trouble!". Tango responded with a look that said "Give it time."

* * *

Mal was still chained up, his face had been punched over and over. But the worst was the one that the German themselves did. It was horrific, he had never seen anything like it before. He dreaded for when the German turned around, opened the briefcase and brought out…  
"No, not again please!" Mal begged.  
"Then tell me the secrets!"  
"I don't know any!"  
"Looks like it's the feather for you then!" The German came closer, holding the dreaded feather in their hands. Mal screamed in fear.  
"OH NO YOU DON'T!" came a voice that Mal recognised, he looked towards the door and there stood Wes and Del, their legs apart, holding guns out towards the German. The German turned around. Wes and Del shot their guns. Perfect aim, right in the middle of the German's forehead.  
"Oh you guys!" Mal said, thankful.  
"Come on, let's get you down from there" Del unchained his left arm and Wes his right. When he got down his arms ached, but he could walk.  
"We need to go quickly, Tango is just outside waiting for us." The trio ran outside and found Tango guarding the door.  
"Let's go!" said Wes, Del and Mal.  
"Sweet, the helicopter is just up ahead." Suddenly they heard shouts behind them. Other Germans had found the body already and were chasing them.  
"We need to hurry! Run!" yelled Tango. The trio followed him in a sprint towards the helicopter. It was starting up already, Mal didn't think they would make it. He sprinted harder and faster, his arms still aching. Wes and Del saw him struggling and helped him along.  
"You can do this, Mal!" they shouted in support.

They reached the helicopter just in time, leaping in as they heard gunshots ricochet off the aircraft.  
"Phew" They were all out of breath. The trio hugged. "Let's go back to the camp"  
All four of them slept in the helicopter. Mal having nightmares about being tickled.

* * *

t _ **hx 4 reeding! this was written by me! Moist! :D nice to meet you too! 3**_

 _ **pls lik and subscrub :)**_


	7. Camp Tango, Part 3

Mal Wes and Del and Malcom were asleep in their bunks.

Wes woke up and left the log cabin and made their way to General Tango's office.

"W-Wes!" General Tango blushed when Wes walked into the door. "What are you doing here?"

"Hey Tango." Wes winked. "I wanted to see you."

General Tango pulled Wes into the office before anybody could see Wes was breaking curphew. "You should be more cautious."

"I dont do _cautious_." Wes said cooly while they looked at their nails. "Danger is my third middle name."

Wes and Tango salsa danced into the early hours of the morning and Wes sneaked back to their log cabin with a final kiss to General Tango on the cheek.

"Good night." Wes said even though it was five am.

Wes walked through the log cabin door and Mal and Del were awake, waiting for Wes to get home.

"Guys its not what you think" Wes said immediately.

"Oh yeah?" Mal said angrily with tears.

"Then explain yourself Wes." Del said as she sobbed.

"It's fine." Wes put their hands up depensively. "Im just having an affair with General Tango."

"Oh, that's it?" Del immediatly stopped crying.

Mal laughed. "Haha."

Del laughed too. "Haha we thought it was someting _serious."_

"Pshh." Wes waved them off. "Please, as if Id do something dangerous. Thats so Mal."

Mal put his arms around Wes and Del and they all did a huddle, whispering so that they didnt wake up Malcom who was still sleeping soundly in his bed floating away in dream land of strawberry milkshake rivers and clouds made of cotton candy.

"So." Del said. "We need a plan to get out of here. We're going to be late for the start of hogwarts if we don't get out soon."

Rain drizzled outside and the three of them groaned because they knew they were still going to have to exercise in the rain.

"We need to steal the blueprints." Mal suggested.

Del looked confued. "Blueprints for what?"

"For the campsite. Duh." Mal rolled his eyes. "So we can escape?"

"Oh yeah." Wes nodded. "Tango has them in a safe in his office we can go now."

They all agreed and they walked to Tangos office. Wes knocked on the door and General Tango told them to come in.

"Hey babe can we have a map of the campsite?" Wes asked with Del and Mal behind them.

"Sure I don't see why not." Tango shrugged.

Tango got the blueprints and handed them over to Wes.

"Great now we can escape!" Said Del.

"What?" Said General Tango.

"Oops I mean now we can look at the blueprints for the camp site?" Del said instead.

"Oh okay." Tango shrugged. "See you later."

Wes winked and General Tango blushed.

When they got outside Wes made them all huddle outside general Tango's office door.

"So whats the plan?" Mal asked.

"We'll leave through this hole in the fence." Wes said as they pointed at the gap in the fence on the blueprint.

"Hey guys what are you doing? Are you planning to escape?" Malcom said as he walked over.

"Oh!" Mal hid the blueprints behind his back. "No, um. Are _you_ planning to escape?"

"No." Malcom shrugged and he walked to breakfast.

Mal Wes and Del snuck over to the hole in the fence and were about to sneak out through it when they heard a voice behind them and they all jumped out of their skins.

"Where do you think you're going?"

They turned around.

It was General Tango.

"I can explain." Wes said falling into General Tango's arms and sobbing uncontrollably.

General Tango smiled sadly. "You don't have to explain. I understand." General Tango kissed Wes passionately and then gave Wes a bag. "Here are some supplies. Once you're out head north and you'll come to the road we found you on."

"But you didn't find us on a road?" Del asked.

Tango winked minschieveously. "You don't think your car had trouble for no reason do you?"

"Yes we do?" Mal Wes and Del said in unison and then they all gasped. "Wait! That means we yelled at Snape for no reason!"

"Yea you should probably apologize to him when you find him." General Tango shrugged. "Now go! I'LL ALWAYS LOVE YOU WES." He shouted as they escaped and Wes shouted it back.

They travelled through the forest and through the cornfields and then they got to the clearing where they first met Tango. They kept going and eventually arrived on the roadside.

They saw the familiar red car and Snape was asleep in the drivers seat. He woke up when he heard them come over. His eyes were red like he had been crying for the whole weeks they'd been gone and there were shadows under their eyes.

"Where have you been I was worried sick." He shouted as he got out of the car.

"Sorry Snape." They all said. "We were assholes although we did get kidnapped."

Snape sighed. "I'm just glad you're safe. Come on we need to keep moving, we cant afford any more detours."

They all got into the car happily and slept as Snape drived them to a future unknown.

* * *

 **please review :)**

 **-Wet**


	8. To the Beach!

The sun was beating down on Mal, Wes and Del as they all sat roasting in the car like 3 hot buns on a hot summer day straight in the oven.

"it's too hot!" Del complained, glancing over at Mal who was wearing a knitted winter hat, "how are you not hot?"

"I am hot, Del," Mal said, "This is my hot hat."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"This adventure is making me tired," Wes said, "We haven't had a break since it started."

"I'm pretty sure that you can't take a break on this kind of adventure," Snape said, who had awoken from his driving.

"Shut up Snape, you don't know stuff like we do!" Del shouted "we've experiences shit, thanks to _someone_." Del glared at Mal.

"Why don't we go to the beach?" Wes suggested.

"Oooo, I think there is one near here," Mal said, looking over the horizon with their pirate hat on.

"Beach, beach, beach, beach!" Everyone, apart from Snape, duh, started chanting.

"Fine we can go" Snape sighed, turning towards the beach.

The beach was empty when the squad arrived, Mal, Wes and Del all jumped excitedly outside of the car, all running and shouting to each other. Del made a bee line towards the sea and jumped in!

"Wow this sea is damp!" Del shouted as Mal and Wes ran in too.

"I would say it's more wet," Wes commented.

"No, it's definitely moist ," Mal said.

"We should look for sea shells," Wes suggested.

"But you can only get them in the sea, Wes," Mal said.

"But we are in the sea?" Del said.

Mal, Wes and Del collected sea shells and piled them into the trunk of the car beside the one bowl of milk and jar of pickled onions.

Suddenly. Wes. Saw. SOMETHING scuttle from under the bonnet of the car into the sea.

"Woah did you see how big that sea cat is?" Wes shouted.

"That's no sea cat, travellers," Suddenly an old man appear from under a rock wearing nothing but a strip of seaweed, "That be, Lessy, for lettuce, some folks like to call them Messy."

"Like Messy for Mal right?" Mal egged.

"No, yer be crazy,!" the man said, shuffling towards the sea, "it be my dream to invite Lessy for some tea, but she be too big ya see."

"We should befriend it," Wes suggested

"Yes we shall!" Del shouted, and with that, they all ran into the sea after the cat sized Lessy.

Lessy was hiding under a rock which Del picked up and threw away, pointing their crowbar at the monster.

"Del! That's not how you befriend things,!" Mal shouted,

"But look at the size of it! It's could swallow us whole!"

Lessy looked at the three pioneers and then suddenly jumped up to Mal and took their hat!

"!" Mal exclaimed

"You little!" Del shouted, chasing Lessy into the water.

"Awh, cute!" Wes said.

"We need to go get my hat!" Mal explained, "Plus Del is already under water, we don't want to lose them!"

"Agreed!"

And with that Mal and Wes ran into the water after Del and Lessy.

Thx for looking - DamP LUVA LUVA

Rememver so lik and sub 3


	9. The Vision of The Wasp Lady

Mal Wes Del and Snape all sat on the pier licking vigorously at their icecreabs which were all different flavours.

They were watching the sun go down it was so beautiful.

"What a great day." Said Wes

"Yeah I can't believe we found Lessy!" Del said.

"Yeah and we even found atlantis and met those mermaids!" Mal shouted and waved his arms around.

But he was waving his arms around so much that he pushed Snape and Snape dropped his black ice cream into the ocean.

"Mal!" Snape cried with tears in his eyes. "That was the last of my money!"

"It's alright" Mal consoled him. "I'll get it."

Then Mal jumped into the water to get the icecream and he SPLASHED into the water. After a few minutes he did not surface and Wes slapped their face and shouted. "oh shit I forgot."

Snape and Del looked at Wes.

Wes said. "Mal can't swim!"

"Oh shit!" Snape and Del said and they all jumped into the water to rescue Mal.

Del dived and grabbed Mal and brought him to the surface and everyone huddled together.

"Alright lets get out of here." Said Mal.

But suddenly a GIANT wave WOOSHED them out to sea before the lifeguard or anybody else could see them.

"Oh this isn't could." Said Snape as they floated further and further out to see. "We're really far behind on schedule."

"This couldn't get any worse." Said Wes

Suddenly lightning flashed and Del waved her crowbar at it menacingly. She pointed the metal bar high up in the air and waved it around towards the lightning. "You stay away from us!" She shouted at the lightning.

They floated through the storm all night but thankfully Del scared the lightning away from approaching too close to them by shouting at it.

As the sun began to rise they all washed up on the shore of an uncharted island.

"Oh damn." Snape said as he got up. "How are we going to get home?"

Mal got up too. "We have to build a shelter and find food and start a fire."

Del and Wes nodded. Mal began to build a shelter out of branches and big leaves. Del got some little sticks and was hitting them together to make a fire while Wes was climbing a palm tree and shook it to make the cocounets fall down.

Snape watched them with an impressed face.

Del hit two sticks together and it made a spark and a fire started on the pile of logs she gathered. "Damn, I still got it." She winked.

"Yeah its a good thing we were homeless so we know how to survive in the wilderness." Wes said as they climbed down and collected all the coconets.

Mal made some spears out of sharp sticks and gave one to Wes. "Lets go fishing while Del makes us some beds out of leaves."

"Okay." Said Wes and they went to the ocean and stabbed the fish and came back "Wow what a catch!"

Snape continued to watch and Del finished making beds and Mal and Wes put the fish in a basket that Mal had made earlier. They all stood next to each other and glared at snape.

"Uhm are you going to help or what?" They all said in unison and snape blushed.

"I'm going to look for a boat." He said angrily and stormed off.

"Ugh that snape." Del rolled her eyes. "I wish he wasn't travelling with us."

"We need him to get to hogwarts though." wes sighed. "But i agree."

Mal stared off into the distance. "Dont worry the faster we get to hogwarts the sooner we dont have to see him. I mean he doesnt work there right?"

"haha I hope not" the other two said.

Snape did not find a boat. He roamed through the forest and eventually he saw a light in coming from one of the trees. He could see it clearer because it was nighttime and it was a light in the dark. He decided to follow it. That meant he had to climb up a tree. So he climbed up the tall tree.

Snape found himself in front of a treehouse and he knocked on the door.

"Enterrrrrr." Said a voice inside.

Snape walked in and there was an old woman who was wearing a purple robe sat behind a table with a crystal ball on it.

"Who are you?" Snape said

"I'm the Wasp Lady." She said, doing a swishy motion with her arms, "I can read to you thy fortune."

"Okay." Snape said and he sat down.

"Hmm it seems you have been through quite the journey." she said as it began to thunderstorm outside.

"That I have." Snape sighed deeply.

"The three youngun's you're in charge of." She said suddenly. "I see some tension between you and them."

"yeah." Said snape.

"You should probably make more of an effort to socialise with them."

Snape burst into tears and crumpled to the floor, sobbing horribly.

"Hush child." She soothed him. "It's not your fault. Just remember... the bad times... are just times that are bad."

Snape nodded and left the treehouse. When he turned around the entire treehouse had disappeared, leaving nothing behind but a single dead wasp on the treebranch.

Snape knew what he had to do.

He climbed down the tree and made his way back to the three untrained wizards whom he need to extort to hogwarts. They all glared at him

"I'm sorry." Snape said, tears rolling down his cheek.

They all looked at each other and then they all gave him a group hug.

"We forgive you." Said Del

"Yeah, you big lug, we can't stay mad at good ol snape." Wes cheered.

"Yeah you're whats paying for this whole trip so we couldn't do it without you!" Mal said.

Snape got a serious look in his eyes. "Alright team, I have a plan."

"What is it?" They said in unison.

"I have this instant travel device called a docklock, it'll transport us back to the car if we all touch it and say 'in the wasp lady we trust."

They all nodded and touched the docklock.

"In the wasp lady we trust!" they all screamed to the night sky.

Then suddenly they appeared outside of their car.

"Haha," laughed del.

"Lets find a motel," Mal said.

"Im exhausted." Wes agreed.

Snape smiled at them. He was starting to think of them as his own children.


	10. The Fishing Trip

Mal, We and Del were bored. It was a known fact that Snape had been driving them mad lately, both figuriatly and literally.  
"Snape!" yelled Del suddenly, taking Snape out of his trance, he had been unadvertlly singing a Taylor SwiftTM song.  
"Sorry" he appollogised.  
"You know" said Mal, putting on his fishing hat. It had a little cork hanging from it. "I'm in the mood to do some fishing."  
"Shut up, Mal, I'm trying to sleep." Said Wes, their eyes still closed.  
"Okay, Mal" said Snape, ignoring Wes' desire to sleep and escape into the world of marshmellow clouds and chocolate roads. (they hadn't eaten in days) "Next stop; the fishing pier!"

A couple of hours later and they had arrived at a wonderous pier with lots of fishermen wearing the same hat as Mal. "Make sure you don't get lost, Mal! We won't be able to find you in this gaggle of fishermen"  
"Okay"  
They walked over to an empty spot and sat down.  
"Oh duh!" shouted Del suddenly hitting herself in the head with the crowbar. "We forgot the fishing rods!"  
They all got up and walked to the closest shop in hopes that they would find a fihing pole or two.  
"I'll be with you in a minute!" said the shopkeeper, wo was in the back getting bait and tackle together properly. Mal was over by the poles picking out the purples one and sizing in up, Del was impatiently waiting buy the counter, hitting her crowbar on the top and Wes was in the corner trying to get some rest. Snape still sung that awful Taylor SwiftTM song all the way here so they didn't get much sleep. Suddenly out pooped the salesman. Instantly Mal recognised who he was.  
"You!" he said.  
"Mal?!" replied the salesman/bartender/bouncer. "What are you doing here?"  
"Oh just a spot of fishing" Mal replied, winking at the salesman/bartender/bouncer while twirling the fishing pole in the air seductively. The man swooned.  
"Yeah I want a blue one!" said Del, loudly interrupting Mal's reunion.  
"Okay sure thing, there's one in the back, theres also a green one if you want that?" Wes jumped up from their corner and appeared next to Del enthusiastically.  
"I'll take it!" they said, slamming their hand on the top of the counter.  
"SO that's three fishing rods, any bait?" asked the salesman/bartender/bouncer. The triplets looked at each other.  
"Nah" they said in union.

A few moments later the triplets were sitting in a botte in the middle of the ocean.  
"Ah this is relaxing!" said Mal loudly, resting his hands behind his head?  
"SHUT UP MAL YOU'RE SCARING AWAY THE FISH!" yelled Del, threatening Mal with her crowbar.  
Wes was intently focused on the water, holding their fishing pole in their hands sturdly. "I will not let go" they whispered to themselves. Suddenly something bit and Wes' line. Insticnetly they let go of the pole.  
"oh no" yelled Wes loudly!. "my pole"  
"Wow, Wes." Mal said, closing his eyes. "Can this day get any worse?"  
Suddenly it started to rain and Wes began to cry.  
Del smached Mal in the head with the crowbar. "Now look what you;ve done you fool."

Out of nowhere, a giant fish jumped out of the water right next to their botte. It was at least the size of a bus.  
"Wow! That fish is at least the size of a bus!" observed Wes.  
"Good observation, Wes!" The other two said encouragingly, they were always there to support one another no matter what.  
The fish suddenly flopped down and created a hige wave that made the triplets fall into the water and into the mouth of the giant fish.

When they awoke, the triplets found themselves in the belly of the huge fish.  
"Hey isn't this what happened to Noah?" said Wes  
"No, Wes" said Mal rolling his eyes "He was the one that made blood into wine, duh"  
They were interrupted by a loud grumbling noise.  
"Oh no!" said Mal loudly "I think that's the fish's digestive system turning on! We're going to be melted with acidic grossness."  
"No Mal, that's my stomach" said Del, rubbing her stomach. "Besides, everyone knows that fish don't have digestive systems."  
"Oh of course" Mal figeted, he was sitting on something uncomfortable, but didn't know what it was.  
"How are we going to get out of here?" Wes asked, panicking a little bit.  
"There is no way out" came a voice from the dark corner of the fish's stomach. Out from it appeared a skinny old man, his cane was the only thing he was wearing, besides a scrappy piece of cloth coverig his loins. Mal, Wes and Del all blushed as they noticed the shape of which the man was in.  
"Wh-wh-who are you?" they all stuttered.  
"I am Lemon Snicker"  
"The man who wrote "A Series of Bad Circumstances"?" asked Mal  
"Yes, that is me" said Leroy Snack, forlornly.  
"Its okay Mr Skillet, we'll get you out of here!" said the triplets excitedly. "We just have to think of a way out."  
Suddenly Mal stood up, the pain in his buttocks was too much to bear. He had been sat on the three fishing rods, a bunch of cloth and Del's crowbar.  
"My crowbar!" Del yelled and pounced on top of it. "I missed you so much."  
"That gives me an idea!" said Wes. They got together the three fishing rods and the cloth and combined them, making a large mechanism that looked like a giant bow. "We're going to fling ourselves out of here"  
"But how?" asked Del "theres no hole to escape from"  
"Remember Del, I'm a marine biologist." Wes reminded everyone gently. "This type of fish only reveals its hole every hour. We just have to wait and prepare." So they did. The four of them, Mal, Wes, Del and Lowman Syndicate were perched on the edge of the bow, waiting for the fish's hole to open up for them. What felt like hours later, the hole finally opened and revealed sunlight.  
"Now Mal!" shouted Wes as Del held onto her crowbar and Mal chopped the wrope and they went flying out, straight into the hole and out towards sunlight.

They landed in the ocean and they swam all the way back to shore.  
"Thank you so much" said Lumpy Sausage "I thought I would be trapped in that beast forever!"  
"It's okay, Mr Sandwich" they all said.  
"Let's go back to the car, I'm sure Snape is worried about us"  
"Oh no!" said Del "we forgot to get some food!"  
"I'ts okay Del" Wes said, yawning "We can stop off at Sainsbury's on the way back to the car"

* * *

Guest wriitten by the one an only Moist! £ 3 £ £ £


	11. Ghost in the bathroom!

There's a loud band in the apartment next door. Mal Wes and Del woke with a start but Snape continued to snore loudly.

"Damn what do you think that was?" Said Del sleepily.

"I'm not sure, maybe we should check it out?" Mal suggested.

"That's stupid," Said Wes, "We're way too tired too be dealing with this stuff right now."

The triplets were quiet for a moment, the only sound punctuating the air was Snape choking in his sleep occasionally.

Mal got up and made coffee and breakfast for everyone and Del tried to wake up Snape.

"Oi." She said as she prodded him with her crowbar. "Wake up or I'll hit you."

"Snnzzzz." Snape snored as he began to wake up. "Wha?"

"It's morning, get up." Said Wes as they began to eat a stack of pancakes that Mal made.

Snape got up and joined the others for coffee and breakfast.

"Damn these are some good pancakes." Said Snape.

"Thanks," Mal said. "When you have younger siblings to look after you sort of have to learn these things."

There was a pause while Del and Wes stared at Mal.

"Mal." Del said. "You do remember Wes is the oldest one of us right?"

"Ya." Mal rolled his eyes, "But what about Sol?"

Wes laughed, "Haha yeah I forgot about Sol, because he's not a triplet. He's just our younger brother."

"Wait wait wait," Snape raised his hands to physically show them to wait. "You have another sibling?"

Del shrugged, "Yeah but we don't really talk about it."

"Oh," Snape frowned, "I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it." Wes finished their pancakes and got dressed. So did the others.

Mal had a thought, "Hey guys I just thought, do you want to go and check out what that noise was that woke us up?"

"Huh?" Said Snape.

"Not you because you slept through the noise." Del explained.

"Oh."

"Yeah sure." Said Wes.

They left the motel room and went to the local library to research noises.

"Hey apparently it says here that sometimes ghosts and spirits try to communicate by making noises and such." Snape said, showing them the paragraph in the dusty old library book.

"Shhh!" The librarian said.

"Ugh, she's so annoying." Wes rolled their eyes and glared at the hot young librarian.

"Tell me about it." The others said in unison.

"Guys focus." Snape said. "What if the motel is haunted?"

Mal Wes and Del gasped, "It's our duty to exercise it!" They exclaimed, "We might be the only ones who know about it!"

They checked the book of ghosts out of the library with Snapes library card. Del was hiding her face the enitre time because once she stole a book from the library and still hadn't been caught by the authorities. Then they went to a recording shop and about video cameras and sound equiptment. They carried all of the stuff to the car but when they opened the car boot it was full of sand and seashells from their beach trip.

"Damn." Said Mal, "We're going to need to leave some things behind if we want to get everything back to the motel."

Wes thought for a solution and eventually shouted "You reek a!"

Everyone looked at Wes, waiting for them to explain their ingenius solution.

"All we have to do is make Snape walk back!"

Del and Mal slapped their forheads. "Of course! Why didn't we think of that?"

Snape nodded. "Okay."

So they all loaded the gear into the car and Mal Wes and Del drove back to the motel, leaving Snape to walk back.

"Damn." Said Mal as it started to rain heavily, "At least we don't have to drive for long, it's only another 20 miles before we get back."

They got back to the motel and unpacked all of their equiptment into the room. Eight hours later Snape arrived dripping with rainwater. They all sat down to set up the equiptment, placing cameras around the room and sound recorders. Eventually it got to midnight and Mal set up a luigi board and they all gathered around it.

"Is there anybody here?" Del asked.

The wood moved to yes and Mal began to scream.

"Mal stop screaming, obviously theres people here, _us."_ Wes said.

"Are there any ghosts here?" Del asked insted and the wood moved to yes again so Mal and Del and Wes all screamed this time.

Snape choked on his spit as he woke up from his nap and asked "Why are you all screaming?"

"There's a ghost here." They all said calmly.

"Oh." Snape rolled over on the couch and began to snore and choke again.

"Why are you hear?" Del asked.

The board replied (not in real speak duh) "I was murdered by my husband."

Wes began to cry for the tragic end of the ghost they were speaking to.

"Can you make a noise for us?" Mal asked and then they heard a knock from somewhere outside the room.

"That came from the bathroom." Del said. "Wes go check it out."

"Ok." Wes went to the bathroom and opened the door and there was the figure of a woman in the doorway.

Wes screeched and sprinted from the motel room entirely, running out of the door and the others could hear their screams in the distance.

"My name is Alice." The ghost said, blood tears dripping from her eyes.

"How do we lay you to rest?" Mal asked.

Wes came back into the room because they didn't want to be seperated from Mal and Del.

"You must bring me the blood of my husband." The ghost cried before disappearing.

The triplets all got up and went back to the library.

"Hey." Wes said to the librarian. "We're looking for information on a woman called alice who was murdered at the motel at the edge of town."

The libriran looked sad and began to weep. "That's was my sister, I'm Elizabeth by the way."

Del was in a corner nearby hitting a bookcase with her crowbar because she was bored.

Wes put their arm around Elizabeth. "It's okay we just want to know what happened to it."

Mal raised his eyebrows. "It? Wes really?"

Wes shrugged. "It's a ghost innit."

Elizabeth blew her nose and dabbed her eyes with a tissues. "Alice was my sister, the police couldn't solve the murder. Me and her husband Richard did everything we could to try and find a lead but there wasn't one. Eventually me and Richard fell in love and got married. I hope she's not angry about that, but I think she'd want us to be happy."

Mal frowned. "We have reasonable reasons to believe it may have been Alice's husband at the time Richard who was the one to commit the murder.

"What!" Elizabeth gasped and sobbed.

"Your sisters ghost told us." Del said after she destroyed the bookshelf which had collapsed into a pile of wood and books. "You should call the police."

Elizabeth called the police. "Yes hello polise? Yes I have a new lead about my sisters murder please arrive as soon as you can."

She put the phone down and five minutes later they could hear sirens outside of the library. Two police officers walked in.

"Hey," They said, "What's the sitch?"

"We have reasonable reasons to believe it was Richard who murdered Alice at the motel." Wes said.

"WHat reasons?" The taller one asked as he chewed gum.

Mal Wes and Del looked at eachother and spoke in unison. "We contacted Alice's ghost and she said Richard killed her."

The two police officers looked stunned.

"Can't argue with that logic." Said the shorter one. "Come one, we have to go arrest him."

Everyone got into the police car and drove over to where Richard worked as a lawyer. The polize officers gave Mal Wes and Del bulletproof vests and a gun each.

"No thanks." Said Del. "I have a crowbar."

They stormed the building to find Richard and as soon as he saw them he began to run away.

"He's making a break for it!" Wes screamed.

Del dived to grab Richards legs and Mal shot Richard eighty times in the chest. Richard fell to the floor with a flump and Wes took his pulse.

"He's dead." Wes gasped.

They heard heard a voice and all turned around. The ghost of alice stood there smiling.

"Thank you." She whispered as she disappeared.

"Damn what a day." Said Del.

They all went back to the motel and Snape sat up. "Hey have a good time?"

"Yeah it was okay." They all shrugged. "It was whatever."

They all took a shower and went to bed early, they had to be up early tomorrow for the long drive.

* * *

 **thnx 4 readin -wet**


	12. We ran out of groceries!

Mal Wes Del and Snape woke up and got dressed and ready for the day.

"Damn!" Snape cheered as he sat down at the motel breakfast table, "I can't wait for some of Mal's World Famous pancakes!"

Wes and Del also waited and watched intently as Mal walked over to the fridge to pull out the ingredients. "Damn we're out of milk! And also everything else."

"Oh shit." Wes frowned. "Are there any eggs?"

"No." Mal cried, "There isn't even any chicken!"

Del clutched her crowbar close and sobbed, "This day couldn't get any worse."

"Guys guys clam down!" Snape clamed them down, "I have an idea."

They all looked at him interouspectivly and waited for him to tell them the idea that he'd come up with.

"So, we need some other stuff right? Like Tan Poms and hair wash." Snape said and everyone nodded because they needed the things that he listed. "Well why don't we do some groceries?"

Mal Wes and Del frowned. They had only ever stolen food because they needed to get by.

"Okay." Said Del being brave. "Lets do it."

They all got into the car and drove to the superstore and when they arrived Snape shot out of the car and sprinted over to where the trolleys were and pushed a lady over when she got in his way on his journey over. He yanked the trolly out of the other one and picked it up and sprinted back. The triplets got out of the car and looked at Snape.

"Hey." Snape said as he panted. "I got us one of these."

They stared but shrugged and walked into to the shop. Mal was pushing the trolley. First they walked down the fruit n veg aile and Wes picked up some carrots onions cabbage lettuce tomatoes and Del got some apples oranges cherries and mangos and a pinapple.

They turned down into the food aile and picked up some snacks and bread and rice and pasta.

"Hey where's snape?" Mal suddenly looked around.

Del and Wes looked around too and they realized they couldn't find him.

"Of all times to go missing." Wes cursed and ran around looking for Snape. Del and Wes looked for Snape while Mal continued shopping.

They got to the candy aile and found snape browing the vast array of chocolates.

Del grabbed Snape's arm and began to shout. "DO YOU KNOW HOW WORRIED WE WERE?"

Snape's eyes went wide and he began to cry because Del as shouting at him. Wes put their arm around snape and went 'shhh shhh' to try and sooth the sobbing man.

"Del as a point," Wes pointed out, "You shouldn't have walked off without telling us first."

Snape looked down at his feet ashamed. "I'm sorry." He said.

Then Mal turned into the corner and the trolley was full of groceries, "Oh good you found him, lets go pay."

They got to the till and began to unload their shopping onto the moving thing and let the lady scan all of their shopping and put it into the plastic bags and they put the bags back into the trolley.

"Okay that will be four hundred dollars please." The woman said and Snape looked for his wallet.

"Oh no I left it at home!" Snape exclaimed.

The triplets looked at each other and read each others minds.

"Cheese it!" They screamed and began to run away with the trolley. They sprinted past the doors and dodged the security guard and then they unpacked all of the shopping into the car while they watched the security run towards them in the car park.

They all got into the car and drove away just in time.

"Haha that brings me back." Said Mal, wiping a tear from his eye.

"Some habits never die." Del said.

Wes got Mal and Del into a huddle while Snape wasn't paying attention because he was driving.

"Hey guys." Wes whispered in the huddle as they got out a wallet. "I totally stole Snapes wallet."

They all laughed.


	13. Arcade Fun Time!

"I'm bored" announced Mal suddenly. He and his siblings were sitting in the car again. They had food so they weren't hungry. Del was munching on a cabbage she had bought. Wes was staring out of the window in some sort of existential trance.

"Guys look!" Snape shoueted from the driver's seat. "An arcade!" Mal, Wes and Del all snapped to attention. They loved arcade's more than life itself.  
"Let's go!" yelled Del. Snape parked the car around the corner and they all ran towards the arcade.

"I'm going to get some hot dogs." Snape said  
"Yes good idea, I'm starving" said Del, still munching on the cabbage.

"Guys!" started Wes, "Let's go check out that 2p machine! They're my favourite." The three of them ran over to the 2p machine and stared at it. "I wish we had some 2ps" said Wes sadly.  
"Oh look a claw machine!" Mal said, trying to distract Wes from the sadness. "I'm going to win you a hammerhead shark." Wes smiled to themselves that was their second favourite animal after cats. Mel and Wes ran over to the claw machine, but Del had other plans.

Mal was trying to so hard to get a hammerhead shark for Wes, but they kept falling off the claw. Finally he got so upset that he decided to just reach in and get one. How hard could it be? Not very! He reached in carferully but then the worst thing happened.  
"Oh no" he cried "My hand is stuck. He had the shark in his grip but he couldn't fit his hand through the hole. He looked around for help and saw Del winning lots of tikets.

"Del!" He shouted and Del saw him stuck there.  
"Mal!" She shouted back, abandoning her tickets and running towards her brother.  
"I'm stuck"  
"We have to amputate" Del said, calmly raising her crowbar.  
"Del no!" Del smached the glass of the claw machine and the air pressure decreased making it so that Mal's hand could get out.  
"I meant amputate the machine" Del laughed  
"Haha of course" Mal laughed back.  
"Wait, where's Wes." Mal and Del looked around and saw Wes climbing into the 2p machine.

They ran over to Wes, who was now inside the machine, picking up the 2ps and pocketing them.  
"Wes, what are you doing?"  
"I want the money, Mal"  
"But now you're stuck!"  
"…..oh no, I didn't think of that." Wes said, pausing. "How am I going to get out!" Wes banged on the glass to try and break it.  
"Stand back" said Del "We have to amputate"  
"What?" questioned Wes, but Del had raised her crowbar and Wes instinctively covered their face.  
Smaaach! The glass broke and Wes was free!  
"Yay!" The trio cried in joy.

"Oh! My tickets!" Del cried suddenly. She ran back to where the tickets had been, but they were gone. "WHERE ARE MY TICKETS?!" she yelled. She looked around and saw a boy holding lots of tickets. She stomped over to him and held up her crowbar in a threatening way.  
"Give me my tickets"  
"No! I found them!" The child shouted.  
"GIVE THEM TO ME!" Del yelled. She grabbed the tickets and pulled, the child pulled back and they were playing tug of war with the tickets. Suddenly they ripped and both people fell on the floor.  
"My tickets!" Del said, sobbing a little bit.  
"Del, it's okay we can get more tickets." Mal said, leading her away from the now crying child.  
"Yes, we can win lots and lots of tickets" Wes said, leading her towards a ticket machine.

Suddenly, Snape appeared, "Hey guys" He said. He was holding a little gold fish in a baggie and no hot dogs.  
"Snape! What the heck!" Del started. "Where are the hot dogs?!"  
"Oh, I forgot" Snape said looking at the ground ashemadely. "But I got a fish!" He held up the little fish.  
"Blub" said the fish.  
"Blub" replied Wes.

"THIS IS AN EMERGENCY BROADCAST!" said a mechanical voice, filling the room with fear. "THERE IS A BOMB IN THE ARCADE PLEASE GET OUT PEACEFULLY"  
Everyone around them charged towards the exit screaming in fear.  
"Run!" said Mal, grabbing Wes and Del by the arms and running out of the exit.  
They managed to get out but Snape and his fish were still in there. They saw him but it was too late.  
KABOOM! The bomb went off and the building was in disrepair.  
"Oh no" said Wes "At least we have money now" They pulled out the handful of 2ps that they had stolen.  
"What about Snape?!" Mal said. "We need to find him, none of us can drive yet and we need him"

Suddenly they saw him on the floor, but he had no legs.  
"Oh no!" Mal screamed "Snape! Are you okay?"  
"Yes, but my legs aren't" he said pointing to where his legs were on the ground.  
"It's okay we can reattach them with magic." Wes said.  
Mal picked up one leg. "I think this is the left one."  
"No, Mal, this one is the left one" Del said, picking up the other leg.  
"Oh haha, okay." They attached the legs on with the use of magic.

"Perfect" Wes said as Snape stood up.  
"Guys" Snape started "These are the wrong way around! My left leg is on my right hip and my right leg is on my right hip!"  
"Oops" said Del.  
"At least I still have my fish." Snape held up his fish.  
"Blub" said the fish  
"Blub" replied Wes.

* * *

 _ **HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS WAS WRITTEN BY ME MOIST :)))**_


	14. Snapes nuggets and budding romance

Mal Wes and Del were bullying Snape like always. Late that night Snape was crying himself to sleep as he admitted his problems to his goldfish, who had quickly become a close companion to Snape.

"Well, you could always run away!" The white goldfish suggested as it swam around in the bag that Snape carried it in.

"What?" Snape shook his head,. "I couldnt do that!"

"Sure you can!" The fish shrugged. "It'll show them just how worthy you are!"

With his mind made up Snape slung the stick with a red dotted bag on the end over his shoulder, he gave the triplets one last look over his shoulder as he turned and slammed the door behind them.

"Where to now?" Snape consulted the scaley being.

"Wherever the road takes us of course!" The fish exclaimed.

Snape began to walk along the dusty road, looking back at the motel with a forlorn feeling in his heart, "This will show you!" He thought and yelled.

He walked for a long time with only Solggy the fish as company.

Suddenly, in the distance he saw a fight. He ran to break it up but saw the men wearing suits.

"Wow, I'd better not get involved with that!" He commented to Solggy and walked past the fight ignoring it. He found a briefcase on the floor and picked it up. "Wow whats this?"

Suddenly the men in suits began to chase him.

"CHEESE IT!" Solggy screamed in terror as the men in suits began to chase him.

Snape had to through his stick and blanket of belongings to the ground in order to run with the briefcase and the fish.

He ran and he ran until he found an alleyway. He ducked behind an alleyway.

Eventually two men in suits stood nearby and began to curse. "DAMN it, if he gets away with the files for the assassination against the president we'll sure be in for it!" one screamed.

Snape gasped quietly. He was kind of hoping the president of the Unintelligable Scrawling Arcade would get assassinated so he was about to gently place the briefcase out in the view of the men.

"Haha hey look." One man saw when he saw the briefcase. "Thats that case solved."

The other man smirked. "I guess you could say it was a... brief case."

Suddenly the other man launched himself at the other suited man and began to bite and punch him viciously.

"I hate you I hate you!" He screamed. "We'll never assassinate the president of beg n'burger if you act like this I hate you!"

Snape gasped and ran out to grab the briefcase and sprinted off into the distance again while the men were distracted. beg n'burger was his favourite resteraunt! He couldn't let them kill the president of it! (it was a diff president fromthe other one)

Snape realized... the men in suits must be from beg n'burgers arch nemesis, Shimpy McJohn! The resteraunts had been rivals for as long as time could remember. In his head snape came up with a plan.

In the morning snape climbed to the top of the tower owned by Shrimpy mcJohn's and suddenly tv crews began to appear. He was on live national television!

"Thank you all for your attention!" Snape screamed. The eyes of the world were on him. "I found this briefcase where it details Shrimpy John's plans to assassinate the president!"

Everyone cheered.

"The president of beg n'burger!"

The crowd gasped and began to scream their anger. Who would dare plot against beg n'burger!

Snape held up the briefcase as proof and was going to throw it at the crowd when he heard a voice behind him

"I wouldn't do that if I were you." The stranger sneeled.

It was Shrimpy JOhn himself!

"Then you don't know me at all!" Snape yelled victoriously as he threw the briefcase to the audience.

"You fool!" Scriched Shrimpy JOhn and began to fight snape.

The fight didn't last long because Shrimpy John pushed snape off of the tower.

"Curses!" Snape cried dramatically as he began to fall.

"Don't lose hope!" Solggy cried out and began to swim super hard up.

Because he was swimming up he used force to help pull snape back up onto the roof of the tower (because Solggy was swimming up so he pulled Snape up with strength because Snape was holding onto the bag)

Snape grabbed Shrimpy Joe and put handcuffs on him.

"I got him!" Snape screamed at the police on the ground who just arrived and they ran up to app the hend Shrimpy joe.

"I couldn't have done it without you." Snape blushed as he said to Solggy, who blushed back.

Once Snape got to the ground he saw Mal Wes and Del cheering and screaming and they group hugged him

"We saw you on TV THAT WAS AMAZING!" They all screamed. "WE'LL NEVER BULLY YOU AGAIN!"

They all got into a car to drive back to the motel and Snape asked. "Can we get mcdonalds?"

"Sure" Said Mal so Wes drove the car into McDonalds and Del was kissing her crowbar.

"Hey can I get a 20 mcnuggest for the local town hero?" Wes said into the drive thru speaker.

When they went to they window where you pay Wes pulled out a wallet.

"Hey is that my wallet?" Snape asked.

"Haha oh Snape," They all laughed. "Classic Severus."

* * *

 **the snape chapter everyone was asking for please review xoxo -wet**


	15. Zzoo zoo zzzz

Mal Wes and Del were sitting in the back of the car while Snape was diving them to Hogwarts. Del kept poking Snape in the back of the neck and giggling when he tried to swat the fly that he thought was bothering him.

"Damn insects!" He cursed.

"Hey look!" Wes screamed, making everyone in the car jump, "A zoo!"

"Snape lets go to the zoo!" Mal joined in the screaming.

"No."

Del whacked him on the head with her crowbar and Snape passed out. As if by magic the car rolled to a stop in the zoo car park and they all got out.

"Whatzahappen" snape mumbled as he got out of the car, carrying the bag with Solggy in it.

"We're at the zoo!" Everyone cheered.

"Great!" Snape said and they all walked into the zoo.

"I'm sorry." Said the man at the enterance. "You have to pay $£45p per person to enter."

"What!" They all yelled in disappointment.

Mal Wes and Del get into a huddle while Solggy watched ominously from the bag snape carried him in.

"Alright team." Said Wes. "We need a plan to get into the zoo."

"We could knock him out with my crowbar and sneak in!" Del suggested, kissing her crowbar lovingly.

"Del." Said Mal seriously. "How dare you think of doing something so inhumane. That could seriously injure that man."

"Sorry." Del looked sad.

"Hey I have an idea!" Snape said. "We could all get into my cloack and pretend I'm one person!"

The huddle ignored snape and Wes gasped.

"Hey I have an idea!" Wes Said. "We could all get into Snapes cloack and pretend we're one person!"

Everyone cheered for Wes's brilliance and they all piled into Snapes cloack and walked up to the man again.

"That will be £50 for you to enter." The man told them.

They all gasped, they forgot to account for this!

Del jumped out and whacked the man in the skull and he felll to the ground with a thump.

"Cheeze it!" They all screame and ran into the zoo.

They walked around the zoo and looked at all the animals.

"Hey snape that flaming no looks like you!" Mal said as they walked past the pink feathered water birds of elegance.

"Thanks." Snape blushed.

"Hey look at that!" Wes screamed and ran to the tiger cage. It was a rare pastel green tiger, and Wes immediately fell into the enclosure.

"Oh my god!" Snape screamed. "Someone get help!"

"No lets watch." Mal and Del said in unison. "Wes might be onto something here."

They watched as Wes befriended the sad tiger. They became friends. Wes climbed onto the tigers back and rode it around.

The tiger jumped out of the cage and Wes continued to th ride the tiger around the zoo as they looked at other animals. Del went to look at the penguins and Mal walked over to the bird room and opened the door.

Suddenly thousands and millions of bright birds flew past Mal with a rush of fathers and flapping.

"Oh, haha oops?" Mal shrugged when he realized the bird room was now empty as all of the birds escaped into the sky.

"Um. Guys." Said Del

Mal and Wes turned around to see Del stuck in the penguin tank.

"You're stuck. We need to amputate." said Wes and Mal with scary blank expressions.

They began to pummel the glass with their fists until it smashed and Del fell out holding a blue penguin.

"Haha hey now we all have an animal!" Said Wes

"What?" Said Mal suddenly realizing there was a purple monkey holding onto his shoulder. "OMFG GET IT OFF ME!" He wailed.

He shook and shook but the monkey wouldn't let go.

"I'm a chip and z." IT said. "I can read minds!"

"Woah!" Said Del.

"You're all disgusting." Said the chip and z as it read their minds. "Come on gang, lets go!"

The tiger and penguin and chip and z ran off into the sunset and they decided to go back to the car.

They drove to the nearest motel to stop for the night and Mal Wes and Del went to bed in their triple bunk bed.

Snape stayed awake to look at the map to plan the path to take tomorrow to get to hogwarts on time for the 1st of December.

"Hey snape," Said Solggy. "You're beautiful."

Snape caressed his greasy hair and blushed, "Aw shucks."

"You should kiss me." The scaley being coerced.

Snape took Solgy out of the bag and kissed him passionately.

Suddenly there were magical sparks and Solggy transformed into a beautiful little boy with white hair and eyes.

"Wow you look not very adult." snape said awkwardly.

"It's okay im 20, I'm just short." Said the beautiful man. "I'm three years younger that my older siblings."

Solggy sat in Snapes lap and they made out with pizazz.

"But don't tell Mal Wes or Del about me okay?" Solggy turned back into a golf fish with a wink.

* * *

 **please review - wet xoxo**


	16. Cars to the cinema!

"Hey wanna go see this film?" Said Wes, holding up a newspaper and pointing to the movie times section on the back.

"Sure!" Said Snape.

Wes ignored him and waited for Mal and Del to reply. They both agreed so they drove to the movies.

They got snacks and once they got the snacks they divided them between everyone.

"Who wanted the popcorn?" Snape asked eight times.

"We don't like it." The triplets said in onion so Snape discreetly

"I can't wait to see Cars!" Del said. "It's my favourite film!"

"Me too!" Said the others.

They went into the film and the lights went dark. The Movie had begun.

They ate all of their snacks.

"Okay. Here we go. Focuz. Speed. I am speed."

some cars nyoomed by on the screen.

"One winner. Forty two losers, I eat losers for breakfast."

Some more cars drove on the screen and then it went black again. The car that was narating starting talking about breakfast and then made himself focus before he lost focus again.

"I'm faster than fast. Quicker than quick. I am lightning!"

There was a knock. Then Lightning mqueen came into view with a sexy zoom on various body parts. He emerges from inside a truck onto the ractrack that was filled with reporters and cars. IT was full. He drove around the satdium. Lightning Mcqueen overtook all of them with ease as he made his was to the front. His fangirls screamed and cheered.

The commentators commented on the race as they raced for the Piston cup. Dinaco was in first place! In Second place was Chikbin (the green one)

Lightning mcqueen was in 3rd place!

Then suddunly Lightning mqueen was in second place! but Chikbin nudged him off of the track. Chikbin started making more crashes happen and it was general Lightning Mcqueen wasn't giving up!

He jumped off of a car and went into the air. He waved to his fangirls and began to catch up with Chikbin. HE WAS IN FIRST PLACE!

Mal Wes and Del cheered as Lightning McQueen won the race.

"I'm going to the bathroom." Snape said when they left the film room.

"Man that was my favourite film ever!" Del said, swinging her crowbar in celebration.

"Same!" Said the other two.

Then they drove back to the motel, but they couldn't help but think they'd forgotten something.

(meanwhile)

"Guys?" Snape cried when he left the bathroom.


	17. The bowling catastape!

Snape looked down at the map.

"Guys I think we're lost."

But everyone ignored him like usual. Mal pointed out of the window at a bowling arcade.

"Guys look we should stop there for a few games!"

Wes grumbled and continued to drive. "No. We're really behind on schedule. We might be a little bit late for our first lesson at this rate."

Del rolled down the window and threw her crowbar out towards the bowling alley. "Oh no." She said. "Now we have to stop."

Wes drove into the bowling alley and they all got out. Snape payed for a few rounds and Mal Wes and Del went to get their bowling shoes.

The man who was handing out shoes gave them all each two plastic bags and an elastic band.

"Sorry the shoes are out for cleaning." The man said.

"Don't worry about it." They all replied in unison as they put the bags on their feet. "We're used to this."

Snape came over and got his bowling shoes. He put his feet in and frowned.

"Is it supposed to be wet?" He asked the triplets and they shrugged.

"Sometimes." They responded ominously. "It's a sign of good luck!"

Mal had to help Snape tie up his bags with the elastic bands.

"Thanks Mal." Snape blushed.

Solggy glared and hissed and bit the bag open and all the water fell onto the floor. Everyone gasped and began to panic that the fish would die. But instead the fish turned into a person!

"Get your hands off of my man!" Solggy screamed at them.

The triplets gasped.

"Sol is that you?!" They all cried and cheered.

They ran and embraced their long lost brother and hugged him between all of them and squished him in the middle.

They all cried onto him and Sol began to squirm and struggle like an angry teenager whos siblings were hugging him.

"Ugh get off of me!" He yelled. "Now are we going to play bowling or what?"

Wes rolled the ball down the alley and got a strike. Wes cheered and grabbed some snacks and coca cola to drink and chugged the liquid energy. It was Mals turn. He rolled it and also got a strike and he joined Wes in the celebration. It was Dels turn. She threw the boling ball as hard as she could. It flew past the bowling pins and went through the brick wall and sailed into the distance.

Del put her hands on top of her eyes but not in a way that she couldn't see and whistled before joining Mal and Wes on the winners podium.

When it was Sol's turn he ran headfirst down the floor and headbutted all of the pins over with a scream of victory.

Snape walked up to the starting line and took a deep breath. He looked to his left to see Mal wes and del and Sol all cheering on the podium. It was his time to shine.

He took a single step forwards and immediately fell over so hard that the walls of the bowling ally began to shake and crumble, since it had already been weakened by Del's awesome power shot (the bowling ball she threw was still gliding into the sky)

"Oh jinkies!" Every single person in the building screamed as it began to collapse.

Everyone cried and held their loved ones close. Sol hugged Snape and Snape shielded Sol from the falling debris. He prepared himself... for the end.

Mal and Wes sobbed into each others arms. But Del had a determined look in her eyes.

As the building fell on top of them, everyone closed their eyes as they waited to be horribly crushed.

But the end didn't come.

Slowly, everyone looked to see Del holding up the building with her hands.

"Wow Del!" Mal laughed. "I didn't realize you were that strong!"

Del rolled her eyes. "I launched a bowling ball so hard its still on it's way to the sun why are you shocked?"

Wes laughed. "Haha true."

Everyone evactuated the building and once everyone was safely out everyone piled into the car. (Meaning the crew not the strangers in the bowling alley)

Snape drove the entire night while Mal Wes and Del slept in the back, and he held hands with Sol into the wee hours of the morning.

Little did he know the terrible evil plan that was brewing in young Sol's mind.

* * *

 **oMGISH thank you wonderful readers. this story is so popular jk rowling messaged me to compliment me on it? THANK YOU SO MUCH JKR I LOVE YOU THIS CHAPTER IS DEDICATED TO YOU!**

 **-wET**


	18. under thesea

It was a strange and curious night. The four siblings wiggled into the wetsuits and snape put the air tanks onto their backs and helped put the tubes into their mouth.

They had been running low on money. They asked around to see if they could do a few odd jobs for people to get some extra cash. Most had declined. Until eventually. A strange old man approached them and asked ominously if they'd be interested in retrieving something he had dropped into the water nearly a hundred years ago.

He gave them the electronic map with the underwater co-ordinates (it wasn't made of paper so the ink wont disolve in the water) and they began to wade into the ocean.

"Stay safe!" Snape kissed Sol passionately and Mal Wes and Del made faces of disgust.

"Oh please." Wes rolled their eyes. "Water is our middle name. There's nothing down there that would hurt us."

"Ahah yeah we're practically mermaids!" Said Mal and then he gasped. "Can we become mermaids when we get to Hogwarts?!"

"Sure." Snape shrugged.

"It'll be our first plan of action." Mal whooped and cheered.

They waded into the water and began to swim as they followed the map.

They reached an underwater palace that had a giant glass bubble around it.

"Wow!" Wes exclaimed, peering into the bubble. "What's this?"

"I'm not sure but I think the thing we're supposed to get is inside of there!" Said Del.

Mal frowned. "I don't think we should go in there guys. It doesn't look safe. Has my intuition ever been wrong?"

"Has your intuition ever been right?" Sol replied

Mal frowned more. "Haven't you guys heard the legened af antartica?"

Mal proceeded to tell them the legend of antartica and the sleeping people who had drowned when the city sunk almost 40 years ago.

"We shouldn't go in because we'll wake up the sleeping people!" Mal said nervously and Wes and Del nodded in agreement.

They swam to the sea floor to look for the photograph that they had been sent out to find. However none of them noticed when Sol began to sneakily swim away to the enterance of the glass bubble. He swam inside curiously and swam towards the palace door.

"Hey guys!" He shouted. "There's no people here! Come and check it out!"

Suddenly, the palace door opened and a single dead person floated out towards Sol. Sol stared at it and then the zombie thrashed to life and grabbed him by the the arm and bit him. He screamed and Del swam to teh rescue slowly and killed the zombie with her crowbar.

They quickly swam out of there because they didn't want to anger the other antartican zombies.

"Mal. Wes. Del." Sol sobbed as they all looked at his bitten arm.

"I'm sorry. It has to be done." Mal said with tears streaming down his face as he pointed the shotgun at Sol. "We love you Sol. No matter what."

"Do it." Sol whispered and closed his eyes.

Suddenly Wes screamed and knocked the shotgun out of Mal's hands. "Wait I heard that you can sometimes save someone if you cut off the part where they got bit!"

Del cheered and punched Sol in the arm until it fell off and sank to the ocean floor.

"I can't believe you guys." Sol said furiously. "Find the photograph yourself. I have to go and get this treated. Thanks a lot assholes."

The three triplets shrugged and nodded. "IT's for his own good." They all agreed.

They found the photograph and went back to the surface.

"Here you go sir." They all handed the man the photograph, and he gave them the money reward for finding it.

Sol was glaring at them. He hated Mal Wes and Del more than anybody had in his whole life.

* * *

 **The plot thinnkens :)**

 **-wet**


	19. xmas spec p1

Mal woke up and got out of bed. He hated mornings so much. It was so warm in bed but it was so cold out of it. It would be so much better if the real world was warm like a bed. Then he wouldn't mind getting up so much. Del had made coffee for everyone and it was on the table of the motel. Mal sipped his cup and it was cold.

Apparently Del had made coffee hours before anybody else had woken up and now it was cold.

"Del why do you have to be like this." Mal asked and Del shrugged as she stirred her cold coffee with her crowbar.

"I don't know Mal, why are you the way that _you_ are?"

"Mental illness, probably?" Mal answered after a moment of thought.

"Haha, same." Del nodded.

Wes rolled out of bed and fell on the floor with a dramatic and annoying groan, "Same," They said as they woke up.

Wes came over and chugged all of the cold coffee and then drank Mal's cup too.

"Where's Professor Shape?" Mal asked.

"He's sleeping on the couch. He cried himself to sleep last night," Wes informs their siblings as they grabbed a saucepan from the kitchen cupboard of the motel and opened up a container of instant coffee and emptied the entire jar into it.

Wes passed the saucepan with coffee in it to Del who filled it up with water and set it on the stove to boil.

"Why did he cry himself to sleep?" Mal asked with disgust.

Wes rolled their eyes and said, "Because he's got a broken heart over our younger brother leaving us because Del knocked his arm off."

Del screamed and smashed all of the mugs on the table with her crowbar, "IT WASN'T MY FAULT WE HAD TO SAVE HIS LIFE!"

Mal patted her on the shoulder and shushed her, "It's okay we know baby we know."

On the couch Shape began to cry in his sleep and started choking when he swallowed his saliva wrong.

"Ugh." Said Mal. "He acts like he's the only who's got a broken heart on this road trip."

Mal thought forlornly of his boyfriend who was thousands of miles away. Del began to weep silently when she thought of Van her alien boyfriend, she wasn't even sure if he was still alive. Wes thought of the broken pickle jar from when their journey first began, then of General Tango as an afterthought.

"Hey guys." Mal said as he got a spoon and stirred the brewing coffee, sipping it from the spoon to test the flavour, "I have a crazy idea."

"That never stopped you before." Said Del.

"We could send a postcard to all of our boyfriends!"

Wes slammed their fist into the saucepan and sent the boiling coffee flying through the room. It fell on Professor Shape and he woke up screaming.

"That's a great idea!" Wes screamed. "We have to go shopping to buy some christmas cards and presents!"

Everyone cheered and Professor Shape woke up with a start.

"Professor Shape, drive us to the nearest shopping mall!" Del ordered and everyone leapt to their feet.

Professor Shape saluted her and ran off to start the car.

When they got to the mall they gave Shape a list of things to buy. He went to a shop to buy the things from the list whilst the triplets headed to a decorations shop.

Mal picked up a shopping basket and swung it around in the air playfully, but accidentally beaned an employee in the head with it. The employee fell to the floor with a bang and began to sleep.

"Ugh, sleeping on the job huh?" Mal scoffed and rolled his eyes, "What a loser."

They walked around the shop and piled loads and loads of tinsel and fairy lights and baubles into the basket.

Wes gasped suddenly, "We need a tree!"

They quickly got to the tree isle and Wet found the biggest tree in the whole shop and picked up the box. "This one!"

Del helped Wes carry the giant box. "It's perfect!"

"Hang on guys," Mal said seriously. "We need a star for the top of the tree!"

Del smashed herself in the forehead with her hand, "Of course!"

They ran back to the decorations section and got the first star they found and threw it into the basket. It made a smashing sound but they shrugged it off as they went to go and walk out of the store.

Alarms began to scream as they walked out of the shop.

"Cheese it!" Mal screamed and they began to sprint away while Wes and Del struggled to run with the tree.

They hid behind a trash can while the shops workers ran past.

"Haha we lost them!" Wes said. "Hey look there's Shape!"

Sure enough, Professor Shape was walking towards them carrying plastic bags of the food and drink and presents they had asked him to buy.

"Wow they let you keep the shopping basket?" Shape asked as he looked at the shopping basket that Mal carried.

"Yeah..." Mal nodded.

Next they went to the post office and got cards and wrote them to General Tango, Van the Alien and Frank the bouncer/bartender.

"Damn, another one for the aliens?" the post office worker smirked as he looked at the letters.

He threw the letters into the post box for them and said. "It should get to them within an hour or so."

Mal Wes and Del huddled and agreed that they should go back to the motel and put up their decorations.

* * *

"DONE!"They all screamed once they'd finished decorating their room.

Tinsel lined every single surface in the entire room. Shape turned on the fairy lights and the heat made the tinsel catch fire and the triplets screamed. Wes and Mal tried to stamp out the fire and Del punched Shape in the face.

Once they put the fire out everyone breathed a sigh of relief.

"Wow." Said Shape as he looked around at all the food and decorations. "It almost looks like we're going to have a party or something."

Suddenly there was a knock on the door.

Mal giggled and went to open it and gasped when he saw Frank standing there.

"Frank!" Mal screamed and leapt into Frank's arms and began to kiss him mercilessly.

Then Van the alien walked in and put his tentacle on Damp's shoulder (the alien equivalent of foreplay)

Sol stamped into the room and immediately showed Shape his new pet Squinky the octopus and then Sol began to dance to the music that Shape put on. Wes sat sadly until General Tango salsa'd through the door with a bouquet of flowers for Wes.

"Oh hey it's you." Wes shrugged and began to drink some alcohol.

"It's great to see you my love!" General Tango cheered and tried to kiss Wes who made barfing noises.

"Sorry Tango I don't want to be with you." Wes said boredly.

"Oh my god same, thank god." General Tango sighed. "Nice."

The two high fived and then had a drinking contest.

Del watched as Sol began to breakdance on the motel table and then smirked.

"Hey Mal, Wes!" She called them over, still smirking. "Looks like our little bro is trying to outdance the pros."

Wes stood next to Del and crossed their arms, looking down their nose at Sol (which was kind of awkward since Sol was on a table.). Mal stood on the other side of Del and laughed condescendingly.

"Well, looks like it's time to learn our little brother a thing?" Mal huffed and snapped his fingers, "Frank! Get the disco lights!"

Frank set up a disco light and Del began her classic ballroom dancing. Mal ripped off his clothes and Wes frowned.

"I'm supposed to be breakdancing, but Sol is breakdancing so obviously I can't do that." Then they suddenly gasped, "Salsa!"

Wes began to salsa dance furiously and enthusiastically to the beat while Del spun around with her arms spread out and Mal sprayed champagne all over his body. Suddenly Sol got distracted by the better dancers that were his siblings and fell off the table and broke his one remaining arm.

He screamed and cried and professor Shape quickly rushed him out of the room so they could go to the nearest hospital.

Mal laughed, "Haha I guess we won that then!"

Everyone cheered.

* * *

t **this is the first part of thte christmas special haha :) wet**


	20. partay

"Arlight!" Cheered Wes, "It's time to get this par-tay started!"

Suddenly a shadow loomed over Mal, Wes and Del and they sprinted out of the way as the christmas tree crashed to the floor.

"Tango what the fuck are you doing?" Mal asked when he saw who pushed the tree over.

General Tango lit a match and threw it into the tree and it caught fire.

"What?" General Tango shrugged, "I'm it's a tradition to light the log on fire."

"Yes." Said Mal annoyed as he rubbed his temples while Wes and Del frantically searched for a fire extinguisher, "But our tree is plastic so the fumes are toxic, also we are inside so there is no good ventilation."

"Woah." Said Frank as he inhaled all of the toxic fumes, "I feel super sick."

"Go lay down on the sofa babe," Mal instructed over his shoulder as Tango began to dance around he melting tree.

"Well, we have to embrace the other cultures!" Del said cheerfully, "Van do you have any traditions to celebrate christmas?"

Van blubbled and shook his head, which meant "Yes, we celebrate by smashing all of the electronics."

So to honour Van's tradition, everone threw all of the electronics into the middle of the room. In the pile was everyones phones gaming consoles, the hotel tv and the hotel phone. Del handed her beloved crowbar over to Van who wrapped a tentacle around the metal bar and began to enthusiastically smash all of the devices.

They heard a scream from Frank as Tango began to removed his pants in front of him.

"What it's the tradition to perform fertility rites under the mistletoe." Tango told Frank as he tried to perform the fertility rite.

"Stranger danger! Stranger danger!" Frank screamed and punched General Tango in the head.

Wes rolled their eyes and grabbed a drink from the snacks table. They turned to Mal and Del and whispered, "Guys this party blows."

The other two laughed and agreed. Rropeffsor Snape returned with Soggy, who's arm had been fixed with magic. Soggy laid out some candles on the window and lit a few of them.

There was a loud crash and they turned around to see that the fire on the plastic tree had spread nto the broken appliances. Even the microwave.

The triplets and Snape observed the chaos. When Frank pulled out a goat and prepared to sacrifice it, they all escaped to the car and drove away.

They felt kind of bad since they ditched their own party but at the same time they also didn't care.

Mal was checking the map while Snape drove and gasped.

"We're almost at hogwarts!" he exclaimed.

Everyone cheered.

* * *

 **happy holigays -wet**


	21. Killing Dragons

"We are so close!" yelled Mal as he flung his hands into the air.  
"I can't wait to drink all the Hogsmeade!" said Del.  
"Del" Wes said, slapping their face with their hand. "You don't drink the Hogsmeade, you ludricous fool!"  
"Yeah you do, it's a meade!" Del laughed. Her siblings joined in and so did Snape.  
"Shut up snape" said Mal, Wes and Del. Solggy rolled his eyes and fell back to sleep in the front seat. Eventually they all fell asleep.

They all woke up and they were in another motel room.  
"Why have we stopped!" yelled Del as she repeatedly hit Snape with her crowbar. "I. Want. My. Meade!"  
"We need to stop cuz it is getting dark and you shouldn't drive in the dark cuz it isn't safe." Said Snape, his arm going numb.  
"Oh," said Del "fair enough"  
"But I'm not tired anymore" complained Wes and Mal. "What are we going to do all night?"  
"Hmm" said Snape looking around the room. He opened a cupboard underneath the TV. "A HA!" he said triumphantly. He pulled out a large rectangular box with the words "Dungeons and Dragons" written on the front.  
"Let's play this board game!"  
"Fiiiiine!" complained Solggy who was trying to eat the plants but realised they were fake. The five of them all sat around a table and lighted a candle.  
"Okay" started Del, "Who's spirit are we summoning because I vote we summon Einstein. I have a lot of questions"  
"Del, that's not how this game works." Said Wes, who was a master of Dungeons and Dragons. "You have to choose a character and then you all go on a quest together."  
"Oh, okay" Del said "I'll be the dwarf wizard!"  
"Good choice!" said Mal, "I'll be the elf ranger!"  
"Sweet!" said Wes, "and I'll be the human rogue, cuz they're hot"  
Snape looked at the characters on the sheet. "But that only leaves a half-orc warrior"  
"Well, looks like that's your character, Snape"  
"Fine, I'll be the half-orc warrior" he said, sighing in sadness.  
Suddenly a bright white light appeared from the board and got bigger and bigger.  
"Snape! I can't believe you knocked over the candle!"  
"Sorry!" he said.  
The light got brighter and brighter until all they could see was white.

The four of them woke up in a field of grass.  
"Where are we?" asked Mal, he noticed he was holding a bow.  
"I don't know" said Del, her crowbar still clenched in her hand.  
"But it's so pretty!" Wes said, running their gloved hand through the grass.  
They all stood up and looked at each other and gasped.  
"Mal!" cried Del "You're an elf!"  
Mal reached up to touch his ears, "Oh yeah! That;s cool! But I can't see you Del, where are you?"  
"Look down you moron" Mal looked down, "Oh! You're a dwarf!"  
"I can't see Wes though,"  
"Wes!" called Del and Mal.  
"BOO!" Wes suddenly appeared in front of them,  
"AAH!" Mal and Del jumped back. "That was scary haha"  
"Hey, where are Snape and Solggy" asked Wes. The three of them looked around the field.  
"Look over there!" Mal pointed towards a small town in the distance. "Maybe they went over there"  
"Let's go!" Mal and Wes walked ahead quickly.  
"Slow down! I have short legs!"  
"Aww, Del" Wes said, "I'll carry you on my shoulders." Wes bent down and Del jumped onto their back.  
"Onwards, my trusty steed!" said Del as she pointed towards the town  
"Neigh!" said Wes and the three of them headed towards the town.

As they entered the town they saw a woman carrying a basket of flowers.  
"Excuse me, maam" Mal called to her. "Can you help us? We are looking for a friend"  
"This dragon attack is really bad for business" the woman said.  
"I don't care! Where is Snape?" Del screamed at her and tried to hit her with the crowbar, but instead sparks shot out of it. "Nice!" Del repeatedly hit the woman with the sparks but it didn't seem to affect her.  
"Del I don't think that's going to work." Mal turned back to the woman "Excuse me, I'm sorry about my sister."  
"This dragon attack is really bad for business" the woman said again.  
The three siblings looked at each other. "What is her problem?" they asked each other.  
"I have an idea" Wes said, "What if I pickpocket her? I am a rogue after all"  
"Good idea, Wes!" Wes crouched down and put their hand in the woman's pocket, while Mal distracted her. Wes pulled out a flower.  
"Aw, pretty!" they said and threw it on the ground. They dug around some more.  
"AHA!" Wes said "Look!" The other two gathered around and saw what Wes was holding up. It was a note that said "Wanted: Dragon, we will pay a lot of money if you kill it!"  
"Nice!" Del said, "Let's go kill a dragon!"  
"Yeah! Let's go!"  
The three of them headed towards a cave, Del zapped people with her magic crowbar along the way and Wes jumped out at everyone. Mal was determined to find this cave and get a lot of money.  
"Ow!" Del said suddenly.  
"Oh sorry Del, I didn't see you there" Mal stepped off of Del. This had been the tenth time that this had happened. Del hopped back on Wes' shoulders as bruises on Del's legs started to appear.  
"Oops" said Mal.  
Suddenly the three of them fell down a hole! It was a trap!  
"AAAAAH!" They screamed as they fell.  
Crash! They had landed on a pile of leafes.  
"Oh thank goodness these leaves were here!" Said Wes. "We would have died fo sho!"  
"Where are we?" Asked Mal, readying his bow. A low growl came down a corridor. Luckily someone had been there before and left torches on the walls so they could see.  
"We're in the dragon's lair" said came a voice from the shadows. The trio readied their weapons and looked over towards the voice. Snape came out of the darkness and into the light to reveal his face. He was a half orc!  
"AAH" screamed the siblings  
"Snape, what happened?" Wes asked.  
"You're so ugly!" Del sniffed the air "And you smell gross too ewwww"  
"I woke up before you three and I ran off into the town when I realised I was really ugly. But the townsfolk were afraid of me there as well so I ran into the wild and fell into this hole. I've been sitting here crying ever since"  
"Great" Mal said, ignoring Snape. "Let's go find the dragon!" The four of them ran down the corridor cautiously. Suddenly they entered a large room where they saw a white dragon lying down sleeping and snoring.  
"Urgh, he snores like Solggy does" Mal complained and rolled his eyes.  
"Wait" Del said, waiting a few seconds. "Maybe he has a stuffed nose so if we unblock it he will stop terrorising the townsfolk!"  
"But the note said to kill him Del" said Wes. "We want lots of money!"  
"Yah good point" Del said, zapping the dragon with all her might. The dragon quickly woke up and roared loudly.  
"Ew the dragon is dripping!" Snape said as he got closer to him "He is really soggy!"  
"Kill it!" Mal said, shooting arrows from his bow.  
"Yeah!" Wes said, wetting their daggers with poison and stabbing them into the wet, white scales.  
"This isn't doing anything!" Mal said, ducking behind a rock to avoid the flames from the dragon. He looked around the room to find something. "AHA!" He said as he spotted a pile of rocks precariously balanced on a small ledge. "If I could get the dragon to go over there, weaken him and then make the rocks fall on him, surely he will die!"  
"Good idea, Mal!" said Snape.  
"Shut up, Nape." Said Mal as he rushed over to Wes and Del to tell them his plan.  
"I'll lead him over to the rocks!" said Wes.  
"And I'll weaken him!" said Del  
"Good!" said Mal.  
Wes ran over to the dragon. "Over here you oversized lizard!" They screamed at the dragon. It turned around and charged towards Wes. Wes ran super fast away from the dragon and into the trap, where Del stood prepared. Del shot out a barrage of water from her crowbar into the dragon's mouth. "No more fire for you!" She screamed. "Mal! Now!"  
Mal Shot an arrow at the ledge and the rocks came barrelling down and onto the dragon. "Yes!" Mal shouted in success. The dragon laid there underneath the pile of rocks. Del carried on shooting water at the dragon until it drowned. "Yay!" Del shouted in success. The four of them high fived and returned to the village.

The villagers clapped as they entered . "Go MWD!" they shouted.  
"MWD?" asked Mal.  
"Oh! For Mal, Wes and Del!" said Wes.  
"Oh! Cool!" said Del.  
"Hello I am the Mayor of this town" said a man.  
"Hello" the four of them said in unison.  
"Here is your reward." The man handed them 10 one pound coins. "It is a lot of money"  
"What?" said Del angrily "This is only £10!" But before she could zap the mayor a bright light appeared and their adventure had ended.

The four of them suddenly sat up. "Wow" said Mal, "That was fun!"  
"And look!" said Wes looking out the window. "It's light outside! We can carry on our journey!"  
"Hey! Solggy!" shouted Del, hitting him with her crowbar. "Wake up we need to go!"  
Solggy sat up with a start. "What a weird dream. I had a dream I was a dragon and I was drowning."  
"Don't care. Let's go!" The trio said.  
Solggy rolled his eyes and joined the others in the car.

* * *

 **GUEST WRITTEN BY MOIST :))))) HELLO ITS ME HEHEHEHEEE - moist**


	22. The School Plot, Part 1

"Hey." Said Snape as he walked over to the triplets who were playing basketball in the car park of the motel they were currently residing at.

The triplets ignored him and continued to play until Mal scored a point and Del became furious and popped the football with her crowbar.

"Serves you right." She said as she twirled her crowbar around.

"It does." Wes agreed as they read a NORF book on science.

"Ugh whatever." Mal rolled his eyes and examined his painted black nails, "I'm going to go and listen to screamo in the car."

Snape watched as Mal sulked over to the car and slammed the door and he turned on the radio and began to cry and dance to the rock music in the car.

"Wow, you guys don't seem to be getting along today," Professor Cake remarked interestedly, "What seems to have you in a tizzy?"

Del pointed her crowbar at Wes and Mal accusingly and made frustrated noises while Wes rolled their eyes in response to the horrific accusation. Mal continued to weep and thrash in the car, causing it to rock in its place nearby.

"Whatever," Professor Snape shrugged. "So I've been thinking. I know you guys never went to school because you were orphans, so I decided to enroll you in a school for a few months before we get to Hogwarts! You know, because you'll need basic educational skills to get by."

Wes groaned and Mal cried harder whilst Del began to pound on the deflated ball.

"School starts this morning so you had better get there now before lessons starts!"

"Urgh!" The triplets all screamed while Mal started the car and the other two ran into the motel room to grab all their school things (and Mals)

They got into the car and drove to the local school. They pulled into the the car park and checked out the packs and herds of students, gawking at the three new kids.

"What do you think they're looking at?" Wes asked nervously.

"Probably how fucking cool we are." Said Del.

Mal grunted as he parked the car and got out.

A group of people dressed in all black walked over to the car and glared at them.

"Hey." One of them greeted furiously.

"Hey." Mal said back while Del and Wes glared at the goths and judging them for their miserable demeanour.

"You should join us." They said simultaneously to Mal, "We're having a human sacrifice on Friday."

"I'll think about it," Mal said excitedly but not too excitedly or the goths wouldn't like him.

They walked to their first class when halfway there a bunch of jocks surrounded them like a pack of drooling hungry wolves. Del rested her crowbar on her shoulder threateningly in case she needed to protect Wes and Mal.

"Hey, cool crowbar." One of them growled and held up his own crowbar to show it off. "We're part of the crowbar basketball team. You should consider joining us."

"I'll think about it." Del said cooly but interestedly.

"We have a game after school, you can come watch if you like." Said an overly muscled teenager with blond hair blue eyes and a devillish smirk.

With that the jocks left the triplets and on their way to the science class a boy with red hair, acne, glasses and asthma ran up to them and grabbed Wes.

Immediately Wes punched him in the head and shouted "STRANGER DANGER!" and began to kick the unfortunate school misfit. Mal joined in and Del was about to raise her crowbar to deal the finishing blow when the boy reached out pitifully and cried for mercy.

"WAIT! I just wanted to ask if you wanted to join the science club!" He begged.

They ceased their attack and Wes stared thoughtfully.

"I'll think about it." They said and then the three of them went to class.

Inside class they sat down and began to whisper amongst themselves, "Haha Wes you can't seriously be considering joining the nerd club." Del said and Mal laughed.

"So what if I am," Wes said defensively and then said, "What, are you actually thinking about joining "crowbar basketball"?"

Mal laughed again and Del and Wes glared at him and said simultaneously, "Stop laughing you're the one that's going to a human sacrifice on Friday Night."

The triplets suddenly looked at each other as if seeing the others in a new light. It didn't bode well as an omen for the days to come.

* * *

In the distance... the form of Professor Shape slowly morphed back into the image of Soggy.

"Too easy," He shruggedmusively, "All I had to do was set them against each other. High school brings out the worst in all of us." He cackled and disappeared in a puff of smoke.

* * *

HI **GUYS! THANKS FOR READING PLEASE REVIEW! -WES**


	23. The School Plot, Part 2

That evening Mal Del and Wes were doing there homework and complaining about it heavily to each other. Snape just rolled his eyes and continued to read his newspaper disapragingly.

"Just shut up and eat your dinner." He ordered them and they ate the food that he'd spent all day cooking, "I spent all day cooking that meal for you and you had better pay more appreciation to the effort I go to for you three. Can you imagine where you'd be if I'd never came into your lives?"

Mal rolled his eyes and grumbled, "Better off dead if you ask me!"

Del and Wes stared in shock at Mal. It was unlike Mal to be so depressing and moody. Perhaps it was something to do with the new group of goths who had taken to him today at school.

"THAT'S it!" Professor Shape screamed at them, "You HAVE to go to your bedroom! All three of you!"

"What!" Wes shrieked and threw a fork at Professor Snape and hit him in the head, "It was MAl that did it not us!"

Snape screamed. "YOU JUST THREW A FORK AT ME GO TO YOUR ROOM. And as for your other query it is because the three of you are all in it together. If one of you is bad the rest of you carry that. You're triplets so you're basically the same person."

Del growled menacingly and waved her crowbar at Snape. "Just remember we know where you sleep!"

Del Mal and Wes all went to their shared motel room and Mal turned on some heavy metal music and started moshing in the middle of the room. However it wasn't a very large room and he kept elbowing Del in the face. Del whacked Wes gently with the crowbar.

"Do My homework, NERD," She said to Wes who grumbled angrily and began to complete Mal and Del's homework.

Mal took out a spraypaint can and began to vandalise the wall with pictures of skulls and writing "SNAPE SUCKZ" on it.

"MAL!" Wes screamed, "You can't DO that!"

"Shut up nerd!" Mal laughed and said, "I can do what I want! You don't control my life!"

Wes glared and did all of the homework while Del practiced bouncing the basketball with her crowbar off of the back of Mal's head.

"HEY" Said Mal when he noticed. "STOP DOING THAT!"

Del continued to do it anyway though. Wes began to do chemistry with a chemistry set they borrowed from school, and accidentally spilled acid on Del's bed.

"That's bullying!" Del suddenly began to sob, "Where am I going to sleep now?"

"In the trash" Wes snarked. "All you jocks think you're too good for us nerds! We'll it's not our fault we're annoying and think we're better than you! It's TIME! For us to make a stand!" Wes screamed dramatically and leapt up onto the bed.

Except there was no crowd to follow Wes in their protest against the treatment of Nerds, so Mal punched Wes in the head and they went unconcious.

"Oh no!" Del screamed and quickly began packing a bag of gym clothes. "I'm gonna miss the game!"

Suddenly Wes woke up with a snoggle.

"Wha?!" Mal exclaimed and began to open the motel window. "We have to sneak out so snape doesnt see!"

The three of them all snuck out of the window and ran towards the school. IT would be better to take the car but Snape may have noticed their vehicale missing and called the local authorities to register Mal Wes and Del as missing persons.

When they finally arrived at the school they could already hear the cheers in the gym from the crowbar basketball game. They got to the gym and Coach shrieked at Del.

"Del! Where in tarnation have you been! The game is about to start!"

"Sorry coach!" Del shouted and changed into her sports gear and ran out onto the court with her trusty crowbar.

Wes and Mal found seats in the stands of the crowbar basketball court and waved their team flags and foam fingers around that had "DEL IS NUMBER ONE" on them.

Del ran out onto the court with her crowbar just as the whistle blew to start the game. Immediatley she zoomed all across the court and tackled another player for the ball and threw it into the hoop with her crowbar without even looking.

Suddenly there was a scream of agony on the court and everyones eyes looked at the person whomst Del had tackled a few minutes ago. He was kneeling on the court sobbing and crying over his crowbar, which had been broken in half during Del's viscious tackle.

The referee blew the whistle and two paramedics jogged out onto the court. One pulled out a stethoscope and pressed it onto the broken crowbar. She sighed sadly and removed the stethoscope from the dead bar.

"I'm sorry." She wiped away a tear. "She's gone."

"NO!" The boy screamed and charged at the paramedic but the other paramedic grabbed him, "NO!"

The first paramedic wrapped the two pieces in a black shroud and slowly carried it from the room. The other paramedic guided the sobbing boy to follow along out of the room as he wept.

The other players were saying prayers or looking away from the devastating sight.

But, the game must go on.

The referee blew the whistle again and the game continued. Del continued to play and didn't seem to let the murder she commited affect her as she effortlessly won the game.

When they inevitably won the game Mal and Wes rushed out onto the court and held Del up to show her off to the crowd.

They went home and they turned on the motel room light.

"Ah!" Mal screeched as he saw Professor Snape waiting for them at the table.

"Where do you think you have been?" He asked angrily, slamming his book shut.

"Were you waiting for us in the dark?" Wes said suspiciously. "Reading in the dark? Kinda lame."

Del and Wes laughed and high fived but Mal was still terrified of being shocked by the man in front of them.

Snape pointed at their bedroom. He would deal with them in the morning. The triplets tumbled into each of their beds and slept peacefully, except Del who's dreams were plagued with images of broken crowbars.

In a few hours, they would rise for yet another day of school.

* * *

 **Please remember to review :)**

 **West xx**


	24. The School Plot part 3

"OW" Wes screamed when Del bashed them with her crowbar.

She was wearing a teal tracksuit from her morning run with the crowbar basketball team

"wake UP!" She shrieked and then battered Mals sleeping form to be fair.

Wes and Mal got out of bed and Mal put on a pair of knee high black and white striped socks, shoes that had laces on and purple flower patterns he also put on some dark purple hot pants that had fashionable rips in it. He also wore a tank top that cut off to show his midriff and had "2 Cool 3 Skool" written on it. On top of that he put on a purple leather jacked and quickly painted his nails aubergine and put on eyeliner and fluffed up his hair.

"How do I look?"

"Like shit." Del nodded honestly and Mal smirked.

"Then its perfect."

He put on his headphones and began to scream about how nobody understood him. Wes got out of bed and put on shoes.

"Okay I'm ready." Said Wes and the three of them left the motel room.

Snape looked at them as they were leaving and nodded accordingly. "You look like you don't care about this family. You're representatives of hogwarts and you need to start showing some pride!"

The triplets looked at each other for a moment before Wes replied confusedly, "But it's supposed to be secret?"

Snape shook his head disapprovingly. "Thats beside the point! I'll be taking points from whatever house you get sorted into as soon as we arrive!"

The triplets growled and walked TO SCHOOL.

When they arrived Mal walked over to the goths to hang out while Del did some breakdance with the crowbar basketball team. Wes found the Nerds and they began to discuss science theory.

"So guys what are we going to do for the talent show?" Each of the triplets asked in unison to their respective cliques (unbenkownst to each other)

The goths looked at Mal and began to laughcry (the only way they can laugh) and the leader who had pale skin and bright red hair said.

"Uhm, that's for losers. We don't do that kind of thing."

"But what if we did?" Mal suggested, fiddling with the ripped scraps of fabric on his shorts.

"Hmm okay." The redhead said as he stroked his chin consideringly.

A few steps away the Nerds looked at Wes in confusion.

"Uhm, that's not really our thing. That's for popular people." The Nerds all laughed a nasally laugh and Wes seemed upset.

"If we did we could put the popular kids in their place once and for all!" Wes cheered.

All of the other Nerds also cheered and the orange haired leader of them stepped forwards and patted Wes on the head.

"You've moved us with your inspirational speech Wes. We're in."

Meanwhile Del did some sick flips while waiting for a response. Everyone looked at the yellow haired team captain who shrugged and said casually, "sure we do it every year."

The triplets all grinned. It was time to show the others what they were made of.

They all had scinece class together and Wes kept mixing chemicals. The teacher shouted at them for being so advanced and told Wes to be considerate of others feelings.

Wes scoffed and pointed at all the teenagers wearing short skirts and makeup. "They don't have feelings, they just feel what popular "muscicians" tell them to!" Wes said while expecting their nails casually.

Everyone clapped and pointed at the popular kids and yelled "OOOOoooh BURN!"

When they went for lunch the triplets began to plan with each of their fashion groups what to do for the talent show.

"We could summon a devil?" Mal suggested and all the goths whooped.

"We could build a nuke!" Wes suggested and all the Nerds whooped.

"We could do some sports but like on stage." Del suggested and the athletes whooped.

When each group heard the cheering from other groups they all glared at each other and Del pointed at the goths and Nerds.

"Oi stop listening to our plans you cheater-thiefs!" Del screamed and launched a hot dog at the goths.

It splattered onto the leaders shirt and he began to scream and cry because it was like $50 from hot topic and he grabbed ice cream and threw it at Del. But he had terrible aim and it hit the Nerds and they all screamed and protected their blueprints and science stuff with thier bodies while planning how to launch a counterattack on the other students.

"FOOD FIGHT!" Someone screamed and then the sky was like a sea of food flying in all directions.

Mal Wes and Del got completely coated in sauces and desserts and main courses. In the centre of the room. Wes and Mal were fighting each other and Del was punching both of them repeatedly with each hand. They took turns to swap around so everyone was punching the other triplet and they all became bruised and covered in food.

Sol watched in horror as his older triplet siblings fought each other horribly. Deep inside there was a part of him that didn't want them to fight (even though most of him did) but that part won the internal battle this time. He ran into the centre of the three of them just as Del raised her crowbar.

"WAIT!" He screamed.

The triplets paused for a moment and then began to beat Sol up as well.

Because he was getting the beating he deserved, the selfish part of Sol finally one and there was only hatred left in him as he passed out.

Suddenly the headteacher screamed at the triplets and grabbed all of them by the hair and dragged them to the principals office.

once they were in He sat down behind his desk and said quietly to them.

"Do you know why I'm called the principal?"

They all shook their heads.

"Because I'm your pal." He smiled softly. "I'm here to be your "pal". WHy are you three fighting? I've heard that you had always had a good relationship together."

The triplets looked away from each other awkwardly and thought about why they were fighitng the other.

"You're triplets. You're basically the same soul in lots of bodies so you should think more carefully about how you treat each other."

The triplets looked at each other for a second and then looked away again defiantly and the princiPal sighed. "You should go home and think about the destruction you've caused here today. If theres another incident I will have no choice but to expell you forever. I've called your guardian to take you home."

At that moment, despite the fighting, all three triplets felt a shudder of dread as the presence of Snape entered into the room.

* * *

woooaoh! dram! I hope you can forgive me ;p

please review! -Wet


	25. The School Plot part 4

Mal Wes and Del all glared at each other as they got ready for the day in the morning.

"Well I'll be seeing you squorts later!" Mal put his middle fingers up at him and Del threw her crowbar at him and broke both of his middle fingers.

Wes laughed and Mal kicked them in the head so Wes started screaming in retaliation.

"Where do you think you're going?" Snape said to Mal as he was leaving "You're on lockdown mister. You can't go out."

Mal shifted weiredly in a way that made him look like he was lying. "Sorry I have a study group today."

Snape nodded and said "Okay then off you go."

Mal left and Del and Wes were left alone in the motel bedroom. Wes was laying on their stomach with their feet up in the air, swinging their legs casually whilst doing a colouring book while Del was texting Vagin the Alien.

"Do you think we should make up?" Del asked.

"No." Wes grammared. "I hate you!"

Del rolled her eyes and continued texting. "I wasn't talking to you."

"Oh." Wes said and turned a page in the colouring book. "Sorry."

"Don't mention it." Del shrugged and then the two made eye contact and smiled at each other. All was well between Wes and Del now.

Wes ran out of crayons and suggested that they go shopping to get some more. Del heartily agreed and they climbed out of the motel window and snuck to the car so snape wouldn't see them leaving. Little did they know snape was busy watching Drake and Josh with his Drake Bell plushie and sleeping on the sofa and wouldn't have noticed them leaving anyway.

When they got to the supermarket Wes got every single crayon that th entire shop had. Del was looking and comparing various crowbar polish brands when suddenly they all got a text.

Wes and Del looked at their phones to see it was Mal texting them frantically.

 _hey guyz plz com get me i think they r going to sacrifice me thnx_

"oH SHIT!" Wes and Del screamed in unison.

They dropped everything they were carrying and the stupid security guard shouted after them because she thought they were stealing stuff even though they weren't. Wes threw a bomb behind them to slow down the security guard but she leapt over it and it exploded inside of the shop as she continued to chase them down.

Del was much more athletic and was getting away quicker but the security guard was gaining on Wes. Del panicked when she saw this and quickly threw the crowbar behind her, narrowly missing Wes's head and intead donking the security guard in the forehead and she passed out and flopped to the ground and the crowbar came whizzing back to Del like a blue boomerang.

"Del you saved my life!" Wes gasped and Del posed heroically.

"Sure did Wes I know youd do the same for me just like we're both going to go save Mal! Now lets go!" Del shouted and the two sprinted to the local Woods.

There they saw some skulls and candles on the ground. Wes knelt down on one knee and touched a finger to the earth.

"They've been here." Wes said, narrowing their eyes and staring off into the woods.

"SAAAAAVE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" They heard Mal scream from deep in the woods.

They ran to where the screams came from and when they got to the clearing in the woods they saw a crowd of goths hundreds and tens and thousands of them all over the place and in the middle there was a high up table and at the very top Mal was strapped down to a table.

Del bashed her way through the crowd, gripping her crowbar in two hands and swinging it this way and that. The goths parted and Wes followed closely behind Del.

They reached the staircase that lead up to the high table that was on a pedastal and they began to sprint up the stairs to get to Mal. They got to the top and saw that Mals shirt had been cut off to expose his abdomen and gothing writing had been put on his chest. Del sawed off the leather straps with her crowbar and Wes gave Mal some water to sip. Mal hopped off of the table and glared at all of the goths.

"I thought you accepted me. But you were just using me for my body." Mal shook his head disappointedly and all of the goths looks ashamed and awkward.

Suddenly Severus appeared in the woods with the car.

"GET IN!" He screamed at them and threw open the passenger door.

The triplets ran to the car and all clambered in when suddenly the security guard from the shop earlier came crashing through the woods.

"I've got you now!" She shrieked and them and the triplets looked at each other having the same idea at the same time.

"Hey you can sacrifice her." Mal instructed them before closing the door so Snape could drive away, leaving the security guard with the goths.

They pulled out onto a quite road and the sun was setting.

"I'm sorry guys." Mal said. "I've been a real jerk lately."

Wes nodded and said. "Me too. We've been so blinded by things that aren't really important."

Del shrugged and put her seatbelt on. Saftey first. "Schools stupid."

Snape looked in the mirror at them as he drove and smiled a little bit. He knew that school would make them learn a few new things about themselves.

"So I guess it's time we leave this place behind right?" Snape suggested and the triplets looked at each other.

"Actually," Wes said.

"We have a little something-" Del continued.

"That we'd like to take care of first." Mal finished.

* * *

They arrived at the school on the night of the talent show, with all of their costumes on. Mal wore purple, Wes wore greeen and Del wore blue. All was right in the world. They walked into the school like nothing could stop them. All around them the jocks, the goths and the Nerds were all staring at Mal Wes and Del as they took the school by storm. They wore cool, colour coded jackets that flew out behind them as they walked that made them look like they had somewhere important to be.

They stormed into the main hall where the talent show was going on and ran up through the centre and onto the stage. Wes grabbed the microphone that the presenter had been using and spoke into it.

"Heeyy! We're here to show you what we're made of!"

Mal leaned in to it and said, "Yeah and to show you all how stupid fashion groups are!"

Del began to smash up the display in the background and didn't need the microphone because she had a loud voice and said. "And to break stuff!"

"Hey I worked forever on that science display!" a Nerd began to cry as Del shouted "I dont care I dont care" over and over.

"Que the music DJ!" Mal winked at the DJ who spluffered at Mals smexiness and pressed play on the music.

The music started up and the triplets began to strut around the stage and swayed side to side. When they song finished everyone stood up and cheered and then the principal came out on stage with the trophy and said "I don't think we need to see anybody else today! You win!"

Mal wes and Del all took the trophy and bowed. Then they left and didn't look behind them. The students knew they likely would never see Mal Wes or Del again unless it was in a movie or when they released their CD.

"I'm going to miss them." Said the principal with a running tear down his cheek.

Mal Wes and Del never looked back as the doors closed onthehighschool behind them.

* * *

 **thanks for reading!**


	26. Chapter 30 the Final Chapter

When Mal Wes and Del woke up they found a note on the table of the motel.

 _Dear Mal Wes and Del,_

 _I've had enough of your antics. Im going to destry you forever and ever. I'm gone to Hogwarts where I will trick the mermaids into helping my plan. I'll see you there. Love you bye (not)_

 _From Sol_

Mal Wes and Del all looked at each other and grinned. Del put her crowbar on her shoulder and all of them looked dramatically out of the window where they could see Hogwarts castle in the horizon.

"It's a good thing we perfected the titanicbot technique." Wes said and the other two nodded in agreement.

"Looks like we're expected." Del said cooly.

"Let's go." Mal flipped his hair.

Together the three of them left the motel, where Snape slept soundly on the couch, closing the door softly as not to wake him.

* * *

 **Thank you one and all for following the story of broken hearts! the Prequel to Hogwarts and mermaids.**

 **Please review and subscribe xoxox**

 **For the final time**

 **Ciao! Wet**


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